My Meeting
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[00:00:00] Hey, welcome back to the Neuro Tribe. I am so grateful to have all of you here. Thank you. You know what would be absolutely amazing if you can go on to LinkedIn and go onto one of my posts and just. Comment, I'm here, or whatever you think about a post.
I would love to see some of you who follow me here or listen to my podcast, find me on LinkedIn, I feel like we could have a great big party there. Okay, friends, let's get into the meat of the subject today.
Are you a neurodivergent parent? In business and you did all of the things. You had success in school. Maybe you were tested, gifted, you definitely were a very [00:01:00] compassionate, empathetic person. People tended to come to you to talk to you and tell you all of the things.
There was a part of you that maybe felt socially awkward, . Maybe you had friends, but you had social anxiety you went to college and got the degree, or maybe you started college but didn't finish, and you have a level of success.
You did the things by getting married and having children, and you come to a place and realize, wait a minute, this. Marriage isn't feeling good. I am not entirely sure why this marriage. Doesn't feel good, and then you start to wonder, I love this person with all of my heart unconditionally, and I feel like I am showing up for them and I really am working hard [00:02:00] to have this healthy relationship and healthy marriage, and I'm noticing that.
I don't feel good in our interactions or lack thereof. Maybe you are not getting the fulfillment of the connection that you desire you have your kids and your kids get diagnosed, and while you're going through the diagnosis process, you think to yourself, wait a minute. This actually sounds very familiar to me,
maybe I am neurodivergent as well. As you are working on yourself, maybe going to therapy, maybe going through your own diagnosis, you realize that maybe this isn't the right relationship for you. Maybe it's not the right marriage for you, because it's not reciprocal, it's not fully fulfilling to [00:03:00] both parties.
It could be that one of the parties is. Not that nice and there's been a lot of excuses over the years over why that person is not that nice to you. as you. Go through and work on yourself and you're getting diagnosed. There's some really important questions that come up, and one of the things that you are grappling with and feeling is, gosh, I have. This relief because it helps me understand myself in a way that I don't know that I really did before.
There's a lot of grief over the things that happened and didn't have an explanation. So you internalized it that something was wrong with you you had a lot of stories about yourself that didn't feel good, and [00:04:00] realizing that maybe that is some of the reasons why you picked a partner that did not reciprocate
maybe that's why you picked a partner that did not share the same depth of feelings you did, and you question yourself. Why is it that I can absolutely 100%. know for a fact that I can love unconditionally fully, and yet it's uncomfortable for me to have someone love me back. There's a lot of, hype out there about how if you don't love yourself.
Then you can't love someone else unconditionally. Or if [00:05:00] you don't love yourself, then you can't receive love. And I think like all things with neurodivergent people, we kind of break the mold on that because you can genuinely love someone unconditionally as a neurodivergent person and know that you love them and know the depth in which you can feel for them and not expect anything back.
We assume that the person we love unconditionally loves us unconditionally as well. And so it creates kind of this subsect, I think of this hypothesis. There's also, say parent child.
Relation, right? Where you can love your child unconditionally and you're not expecting the same [00:06:00] back right there. There isn't any expectations with that. The other part of that is being a neurodivergent person and working on yourself discovering yourself really loving yourself and owning who you are it can be that you are doing all of the work. You're discovering who you are. This neuro complex body and mind that you live in, and you are feeling confident each and every single day, you question yourself. How can I love someone unconditionally and have low self-esteem?
Because it's said out there that if you have low self-esteem, then you can't actually love someone with neurodivergent people. I actually disagree with that because neurodivergent people can have low self-esteem and love unconditionally. There's that [00:07:00] other aspect of if you love yourself unconditionally, then you can receive love unconditionally.
I also believe neurodivergent people break that rule. We're really good at breaking rules. Part of that is it can be that maybe you grew up in an environment that. Love was conditional. It wasn't safe for you. And your nervous system got used to the idea that if someone loves me, it's not safe.
That doesn't mean that's true for all people. But maybe your nervous system is programmed that way due to life experiences. It can be that you had a great environment growing up, and also maybe there were some things that happened in school. Some things happened in [00:08:00] relationships,
the relationship that you have gotten out of that you have the children with while it started great, it ended not well, and your nervous system got used to that. Idea that love hurts. And so while you can love unconditional, you find this questioning of why can I love someone? And yet it's really uncomfortable or it feels unsafe to receive love back and this conditioning that you have had for years, however long it is for you. Changed your nervous system.
Allowing yourself to feel that love for yourself and the people in your life and working your nervous system from going to, it's [00:09:00] scary to maybe neutral. So I am scared to get into a new relationship, or I'm scared to find new friends because I have learned that it's painful in the past
I am ready and open to receive new relationships I am open to seeing the red flags. I am aware of my inner compass and have the tools to express my wants, my needs, my wishes, what is okay with me, what is not okay with me I am in this new relationship and I will see.
Not only the words actions and behaviors, but I will also pay attention to the way I feel moving along the way. And I [00:10:00] will be not giving all of myself, I will not be. Sharing all of the deep, dark secrets right away. I will give my thoughts, my feelings, my experiences away little by little as I gain trust in this person.
As I gain trust in myself to receive this love, and the more you work on these things, the more you become open and willing to experience the unconditional love in return, and that is helping your nervous. System learn that not all love has to hurt. Not all love is threatening or harmful, it is such a beautiful thing to see people come [00:11:00] from such a good place and such good thoughts and feelings, they're really good human beings and they've been through something and they're now working their way towards.
The life that they want to live, including the people in their lives that treat them well and love them for who they are and not who they want them to be. Thank you so much. I love you all. Take care. Bye.
Hey friends, thank you so much for joining me today. If you got an aha moment. I would absolutely love to hear from you. Please like, subscribe, comment, and share. If you want to be part of an amazing group of neurodivergent human beings and share some of the love and the magic in a community where you belong, that's safe and nonjudgmental, [00:12:00] click the link below and join our neuro Tribe community today.
Love you all. Take care. Bye.
