Bad Days Aren't Backslides: Why Non-Linear Healing Is Actually Normal

July 23, 2025

"Why am I here AGAIN?"

Even if you’ve been working on yourself for months or years, feeling like you've made real progress, you can still suddenly find yourself back in familiar uncomfortable emotional territory.

That crushing feeling of "I should be past this by now" might be based on a fundamental misunderstanding about how healing actually works.

In this episode, Theresa tackles one of the most discouraging experiences in personal growth work: feeling like you're "backsliding" or losing progress when difficult emotions resurface. She explains why healing naturally follows a non-linear pattern and provides a reframe that transforms setbacks from evidence of failure into signs of deeper healing capacity.

What You'll Discover:

Why healing naturally follows cycles rather than straight-line progress
The "movie metaphor" - how deeper understanding reveals new layers in familiar experiences
How to distinguish between temporary processing and actual regression
Practical support activation strategies for difficult periods
Why maintaining self-trust during setbacks is crucial for long-term transformation

Practical Tools Covered:

Layer-by-layer processing framework for understanding emotional cycles
Support system menu for difficult periods (coaching, community, therapy)
Self-trust maintenance during temporary setbacks
Outcome-focused questioning during challenging times
Balance vs. elimination approach to emotional wellness

Resources Mentioned:

NeuroTribe Community membership
Theresa's coaching services
Partnership with therapists for graduated clients

Related Episodes:

"Grieving Your 'Normal' Life" - foundational grief work that prepares for setback processing
"You Don't Need Fixing" - self-discovery framework that supports non-linear understanding
"Achieving Yourself to Exhaustion" - addresses perfectionist expectations about healing

Connect with Theresa:

Ready to be part of a community that understands non-linear healing journeys? The NeuroTribe offers support, understanding, and practical tools for neurodivergent individuals navigating personal growth. Your setbacks are welcome here - they're part of the human experience.

Join The NeuroTribe:
https://theresa-minnoch-6a60.mykajabi.com/offers/zPgWxGbi/checkout

Join The NeuroTribe 20's LaunchPad:
https://theresa-minnoch-6a60.mykajabi.com/offers/fJTZGd3Y/checkout

Download Free Toolkit:
https://theresa-minnoch-6a60.mykajabi.com/offers/nrzT59yp/checkout

The NeuroTribe Podcast is hosted by Theresa Minnoch, a neurodivergent life and business coach who helps neurodivergent individuals create authentic, sustainable lives that honor their unique wiring. Each episode provides practical tools, community connection, and the permission to be exactly where you are in your journey.

Subscribe & Share: If this episode helped reframe your understanding of healing setbacks, please subscribe and share it with someone who might need this perspective. Your support helps us reach more neurodivergent individuals who need to know they're not broken.

#neurodivergent #nonlinearhealing #healingjourney #personalgrowth #emotionalregulation #selfcompassion #neurotribe #setbackrecovery #traumahealing #selftrust #authenticity #belonging

Episode Transcript

Bad Days video1924845404 PODCAST
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[00:00:00] Hey friends. Welcome back to the NeuroTribe.

So glad you're here.

You're showing up for yourself.

You've got a place where you belong. It's safe, nonjudgmental, and you can find your tribe, your community.

Have you ever been in this kind of sticky situation where you've been working on yourself for a while,

you feel like you've progressed,

you've learned a lot,

you feel like you're owning yourself...

and then life happens and you start to feel like, "Ah, ooh, this really sucks."

It doesn't feel good.

"My anxiety is up, my triggers are up, my sensory needs are up."

And you just are thinking to yourself,

"Why? Why, Why?"

"Why am I in this spot again?"

"I feel like I've done all of this work and now I'm back to feeling [00:01:00] crappy."

"Why is that?"

"I feel like I should be way past this by now."

And the, the fact of the matter is, is healing does not look like a straight line.

It's all squiggly and all over the place.

Also, sometimes we can work on certain things and we think we're past those things, but then what ends up happening is we dig a little bit deeper and we go down a layer.

And we get really uncomfortable with the fact that it's brought back up and we're needing to work through it, and we feel like we already did.

But what is actually happening is we are seeing it by a new layer.

We're seeing it with a different lens.

It's kind of like, have you ever watched a movie one time, but then you watched it again and all of a sudden you saw something that you never saw before?

Or read a book and then a few [00:02:00] years later, read it again, and all of a sudden you're picking up things the second time around that you didn't the first time around.

It's kind of like that when you are talking about personal growth or healing or working through and showing up for yourself and discovering who you are and really accepting and loving yourself genuinely and fully.

There are so many people that have been doing it for years.

Maybe they've been in therapy for years and something's coming up for them again, and they have already graduated out of therapy.

So they're looking now, "How can I help myself in a different way?" And coaching maybe suitable at that time.

I actually have great partnerships with some therapists who send people my way when they know that they've graduated from therapy, they've gotten to the places, the goals [00:03:00] that they worked on with the therapist, and now they're ready to set new ones and work with a coach.

So there are so many different ways that you can help yourself when you have come to a place of:

"I worked on this. Why is it coming up again?"

Or "I have been working on myself so much. Why is this this one thing bothering me so much?"

So let's dive into that a little bit.

Let's say something happens and you really are feeling it like it's visceral.

You can feel it in your body.

Your mind is ruminating.

You're feeling like you haven't made any progress.

Or maybe you feel like you should be beyond these kinds of feelings because of all the progress you have done.

Maybe you feel like you can't trust yourself now because you are feeling so awful right now.

And I don't wanna put [00:04:00] words on it, but if you're not feeling great, that uncomfortable, sticky feeling, you can put whatever word you want on it, right?

"Awful" is my word.

But it feels uncomfortable. It feels icky.

"Why am I at this place?"

I think one of the things that you can ask yourself is,

"Why am I feeling this way?"

"What is the result that I'm looking for?"

"What's the outcome that I really wanna get here?" Right?

And being really honest with yourself about what the situation is and what you want the outcome to be. Right.

And then what are you thinking about it?

What, why is it upsetting you so much?

What are your thoughts about the situation that happened?

And focusing on: "Wait a minute. If this is what I want the outcome to be, what do I need to do to get to that outcome?"

"What actions do I need to take?"

[00:05:00] Or: "Do I need to back off and just allow myself to feel this way for a little bit, maybe a couple of days?"

And then once you've been able to really sit in it and feel all that you need to feel and process, then how can you move yourself through it?

How can you move yourself past it?

And how can you focus on that end result or that outcome that you're really, really looking for?

Because you're having a reaction or a trigger, or you're having a hard time with one situation, it doesn't mean anything's gone wrong.

It doesn't mean that you have fallen back or that you need to have a lack of trust for yourself anymore.

We are human.

We have good and we have bad days.

And it's okay to have a mix of both.

Otherwise, life would be very vanilla.

That doesn't mean lean [00:06:00] into the good days and lean into the bad days, or, you know, have it be off balance.

But it's more of: "How can I have more of a balance?"

And then, "When I am having a bad day, how can I support myself through this bad day?"

"Do I need to reach out to Theresa?"

I'm here for you, set up a call with me.

Or: "Do I wanna join the NeuroTribe?"

Or: "Maybe I can catch one of Theresa's free workshops."

Or: "Maybe I can call a friend of mine, or maybe I can call my old therapist and see if I can fit a couple of slots in."

It's totally up to you.

But I wanna let you know right now because you're having a crappy day or you're reacting to something that happened, does not mean that anything has gone wrong.

It does not mean you don't have to trust yourself.

It does not mean that you haven't had progress.

It does not mean that if you're feeling anxiety or [00:07:00] you're feeling anger or frustration or whatever it might be that you are at fault in some way.

What it does mean is now we need to figure out how we can set up support for you and how we can move you through this and into your desired outcome.

I love you all.

Take care.

Have a good day.

Hey friends, thank you so much for joining me today. If you got an aha moment. I would absolutely love to hear from you. Please like, subscribe, comment, and share. If you want to be part of an amazing group of neurodivergent human beings and share some of the love and the magic in a community where you belong, that's safe and nonjudgmental, click the link below and join our neuro Tribe community today.

Love you all. Take care. Bye.