Stop Dreading Coming Home - Micro-Breaks for Better Connection

July 09, 2025

Do you work twice as hard as everyone else around you? Are you successful but exhausted, frustrated, and dreading coming home because you don't have the energy to connect with the people you love most?

If you're a neurodivergent professional who finds yourself sitting in your car in the driveway, gathering energy just to walk through your own front door, this episode is for you. We're exploring why neurodivergent individuals often work exponentially harder than their peers, and how strategic micro-breaks can transform your transition from work mode to family connection.

Today we're diving into the hidden reality of neurodivergent overwork, why "working twice as hard" isn't just a feeling but an actual experience, and how to protect your evening energy so you can show up for the relationships that matter most.

What You'll Discover

The Neurodivergent Work Reality

Why neurodivergent individuals often work 2-3 times harder than neurotypical colleagues
How dyslexia, ADHD, and sensory processing differences compound work challenges
The exhausting reality of triple-checking everything and still finding errors
Why your success proves your competence, not your inadequacy
How sensory overload at work depletes your cognitive resources for home life

The Hidden Cost of Overcompensation

Why you might dread coming home despite loving your family
How executive function depletion affects your ability to manage family demands
The cascade effect: work overwhelm bleeding into family relationships
Why "I can't think anymore" is legitimate information, not weakness
How overcompensation patterns developed as survival strategies

The Transition Crisis

Why you might sit in your car for 20 minutes before going inside
How work mode and family mode require completely different energy
The challenge of shifting from professional performance to authentic connection
Why family members asking questions feels overwhelming after a demanding workday
How to communicate your needs without appearing weak or uncaring

The Real Tools Covered in This Episode

Micro-Break Integration: Strategic 5-15 minute recovery periods during workday
Transition Ritual Development: Buffer time between work performance and home presence
Family Communication Scripts: Language for explaining your needs without extensive justification
Teaching Moment Creation: Converting family demands into collaborative problem-solving
Energy-Based Evening Planning: Choosing activities based on realistic post-work capacity

Key Takeaways

Your Extra Effort is Real and Valid

Working 2-3 times harder than neurotypical colleagues isn't a perception—it's the reality of neurodivergent professional life. Double-checking, triple-checking, and still finding errors is part of how your brain processes information, not a sign of incompetence.

Transition Time is Essential, Not Optional

The buffer between work mode and family mode isn't luxury—it's necessity. Taking 10-20 minutes to decompress prevents the overwhelm that makes you snap at people you love.

"I Can't Think Anymore" is Information

Evening cognitive depletion after a day of compensation isn't laziness—it's your brain telling you that your processing resources are genuinely exhausted.

Family Collaboration Reduces Individual Burden

Teaching family members to participate in household management instead of defaulting to you as coordinator can dramatically reduce your evening cognitive load.

Sustainable Work Practices Protect Relationships

When you honor your neurodivergent work reality and plan accordingly, you have more authentic energy available for the people who matter most.

Questions for Reflection

How much extra effort are you putting in at work that others don't see or acknowledge?
What happens in your body when you think about coming home after a demanding workday?
How might your family relationships change if you had more evening energy available?
What would it feel like to explain your needs without guilt or extensive justification?
Where are you overcompensating at work in ways that could be addressed with accommodation instead?

Practical Steps You Can Take Today

Implement a 10-minute car ritual: Before going inside, sit quietly, take deep breaths, and consciously transition from work to home
Create a family communication script: Practice explaining "I need 15 minutes to decompress before we tackle questions"
Identify one teaching moment: Convert one regular family demand into collaborative problem-solving
Schedule micro-breaks: Set three 5-minute recovery periods during your workday
Assess evening capacity realistically: Plan evening activities based on your actual energy after work compensation

The Evening Transformation Approach

Acknowledge the reality: Honor that you work harder than most people realize
Plan for depletion: Expect to need recovery time and build it in proactively
Communicate your needs: Use clear, simple language about your transition requirements
Create collaboration: Engage family in solutions rather than bearing all responsibility
Protect your energy: Make evening choices based on sustainable capacity, not guilt

Resources Mentioned

Free Neurodivergent Stress Toolkit: Get immediate access to nervous system regulation techniques designed specifically for overworked neurodivergent professionals
NeuroTribe Community: A safe, understanding space where overworked neurodivergent individuals learn sustainable work practices and family communication strategies
NeuroTribe 20's LaunchPad: For those in their twenties navigating the transition from school to professional life

Connect with Theresa

Ready to stop dreading coming home? The NeuroTribe community understands the reality of neurodivergent overwork and provides ongoing support for creating sustainable work practices that protect your family relationships.

You don't have to choose between professional success and family connection. You can have both when you honor your neurodivergent reality.

Join The NeuroTribe:
https://theresa-minnoch-6a60.mykajabi.com/offers/zPgWxGbi/checkout

Join The NeuroTribe 20's LaunchPad:
https://theresa-minnoch-6a60.mykajabi.com/offers/fJTZGd3Y/checkout

Download Free Toolkit:
https://theresa-minnoch-6a60.mykajabi.com/offers/nrzT59yp/checkout

Coming Up

Next Week: "When Your To-Do List Becomes a To-Don't List" - Exploring task paralysis, analysis paralysis, and practical strategies for getting unstuck when you have too many things to do and don't know where to start.

The NeuroTribe Podcast is hosted by Theresa Minnoch, a neurodivergent life and business coach who helps neurodivergent individuals create authentic, sustainable lives that honor their unique wiring. Each episode provides practical tools, community connection, and the permission to be exactly where you are in your journey.

Subscribe so you never miss an episode, and share with a neurodivergent professional who needs permission to take transition time.

Find this episode helpful? Share it with someone who needs to know that working twice as hard is real, valid, and requires different strategies.

#neurodivergent #ADHD #overworking #worklifebalance #neurodivergentlife #ADHDlife #dyslexia #executivefunction #neurodivergentcoaching #familyconnection #ADHDwomen #neurodivergentadults #workexhaustion #neurodivergentsupport #sensoryoverload #transitions #energymanagement #neurodivergentcommunity #ADHDsupport #microbreaks #workaccommodations #sustainablework #neurotribe #workstress #neurodivergentjourney #ADHDrecovery #familyrelationships

Episode Transcript

ND Overworking
===

[00:00:00] Hey friends. Welcome back to the Neuro Tribe. I am so grateful to have all of you here. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for joining me. And also, I would love for you to download and subscribe to this podcast. All of us are a community together. Let's all celebrate together.

Do you feel like you are always working twice or three times harder than everybody else around you?

And while you're successful, you're also exhausted and frustrated.

Let's talk about that for a moment.

Let's talk about what's going on when you are working.

Are you a solopreneur working by yourself, and you're working all the time, but you haven't reached the level of success that you want to get to yet?

Or maybe you are there but you feel like, "gosh, this is way [00:01:00] harder than it should be or needs to be." Right.

Maybe it is that you are working in a team, or you have this level of success in the area of your field, but everybody else is done before you, comes in, after you, and you feel like you have to work harder, work longer to be able to stay ahead of the game or even be able to keep up with the other people.

As neurodivergent individuals, there can be things that are more challenging to us than it is to other people. Right.

Maybe it is that you are dyslexic and while you are smart, you also don't feel smart, even though you're successful, because you have to read things two, maybe three times, maybe [00:02:00] even a fourth time to make sure that you comprehended everything that you just read.

Maybe it is that you have to do your emails and you have to go over and double and triple check to make sure that there are no errors on your email or there's no errors on the flyers that you are printing, or whatever it is that is going to be out there for the world to see.

It could be that you feel frustrated that even though you double and triple and quadruple check things, you notice that they come back and there are still errors and you feel so frustrated.

And so part of your work is going back again and fixing things, right?

Fixing a mistake before anybody else notices.

Or fixing that mistake before [00:03:00] it goes out into the public.

Or fixing the mistake before your boss sees it.

Whatever it may be, right?

It's that overcompensation for needing to help your challenges that you have with reading, writing.

Maybe, oh, this is another one, too.

Friends, I love you, but maybe it takes you longer because you have the kind of dyslexia that things are blurry or things move on the page.

And so you really have to focus to read the words or you skim through and get the idea of the words, but then that actually causes more work.

Because you didn't read the fine details.

And now you have to go back and read the fine details.

Or you responded in a way that wasn't intended or wasn't asked of you because you didn't read the fine details.

I [00:04:00] love you dyslexics.

I'm dyslexic too, so I know this happens.

Maybe it is that you read something and you thought it said something, but it didn't, and then you respond and you're like, "wait a minute..."

The person's like, "wait a minute, did you get the email I sent you? That doesn't make any sense with how we've talked about it before." Right.

It could be that you go to your email and you go in the email and you end up getting rid of 50 emails, but completely forgot what you got in the email to begin with.

Or maybe you are going in to search something up and you're like, "Wait a minute. I cannot remember what I was gonna search up."

Or you go to search something up and end up in your email.

It's all that and more that comes with working so hard, working longer hours.

It [00:05:00] could be that you've got a lot of sensory needs and you are more tired.

Or you have more anxiety.

Or your body is really struggling to be in the environment that you are in because your sensory needs are kind of taxing you, right?

And so the more that you are mentally and cognitively declining due to your sensory issues, the harder you have to work and the longer hours you have to work, even though you don't feel like you have it in you.

I hear you. I see you. I love you.

And so you're working all of these hours to compensate for your challenges.

And then you come home.

And the first thing that happens when you come home is, "Can I have this?" "Can I do this?" "I'm hungry." I. "When is this?" "Can you check this?" "When are we supposed to do that?"

And [00:06:00] it almost compounds because you're already having issues with executive functioning or you're already frustrated from overcompensating all day, or you are already in sensory overwhelm and now the family wants this and that and the other.

And inside you want to explode.

You feel so frustrated.

Your anxiety is up.

Your sensory issues are up.

Your frustrations over your challenges is really hammering on you, and you are thinking, "Why can't I just..."

"Why can't I just be normal?"

"Why does it have to be so hard?"

" I can't even think any thoughts anymore."

"Why in the world are you asking me questions?"

Like I can't think of those questions, those answers.

I can't get there.

I can't think about tomorrow.

I can't think about next week.

I can't think about this summer 'cause I'm on today.

I'm still on today.

It takes work to say, "Hey, you know [00:07:00] what? Before I answer all of those questions, I need to take five minutes for myself."

Or maybe it's 10 or 15, right?

"I need to go change, wind down, have a drink of water, go to the restroom, and then I will come out and we can start tackling one thing at a time."

Or maybe you have older kids and they're, "Hey, I want this. I want that. Can you order this? I need this. What about this? Is dinner coming? Are we ordering out? What's going on?" Right?

And so it could be that you have the chance, the ability to make it a teaching moment of: "I just walked in the door. Can you start dinner while I use the restroom and get a drink of water?"

"I'm gonna change. I'll be back down and then we can look over the schedule together."

This is a great time to help your executive functioning because you're looking at the schedule with said person, whether it's a partner or a [00:08:00] kid, and you two are looking together and you can guide together.

Maybe you ask them to put things on their calendar at the same time as looking at it with you.

Maybe it is that you come home and you're so frustrated and your eyes are hurting and you have a tension headache and you just can't think anymore, and you cannot read anymore because you've been reading all day and you're done reading.

This could be a time where you ask to get out the schedule, ask to get out the questions, ask to look things up, and have your kid read to you.

And just say, "You know what? My eyes are tired. I have a headache. Let's figure it out together. You are going to read. I'll help you search things up." Or, "You are going to do the reading."

Or "You are going to be putting things on the schedule and we can talk about it together."

I think what happens when we have to work so hard [00:09:00] that we think that we have to continue working so hard at in all areas of life and when we're coming home and we've already worked so hard, and then now we're looking at working hard again.

It doesn't really seem like coming home is fun.

Even though when you're rested and you're enjoying yourself and you're enjoying your family, then everything's great.

But in those moments, it's those moments like, I just wanna turn around and go back outside.

I wanna come home and sit in my car for 20 minutes by myself with some music or with my audiobook and not come in the house because I need to take that time for myself before I can go in and be a good parent, be a good human, be a whatever it is that you wanna be.

And you are deciding how you want to show up in life, at home, with the family.

And it is [00:10:00] okay to have those challenges and be frustrated about those challenges.

I think there are so many people that are out there that are like, "Oh, you have the challenges."

You know, "Suck it up and get those systems..."

And you know, "Just learn how to do it better."

Yeah, we can do all of those things and still, there's still challenges.

They're still there.

They're not going away.

And ignoring how we feel about it is not helping any of us because it turns internal.

It turns into: "Something's wrong with me because I have these challenges and I'm supposed to think of things as bright and shiny, and happy all the time."

"I'm supposed to be at peace and I am supposed to be like they show on the Facebook, you know, or Instagram."

"I'm supposed to be like the people on TikTok where you know, [00:11:00] they can turn everything into gratitude and positivity and I don't feel like that sometimes."

And that's okay.

You don't have to feel that way sometimes.

We literally are living in a world that is not built for us neurodivergent people.

Now we can help you find systems that work for you and your wiring.

That is accessible to you.

And we do do that in the NeuroTribe. Day in and day out.

Whether you're in your 30s and above, or you're in your twenties or you're in your teens.

Day in and day out, we are helping people find systems that work for them.

So life isn't so hard.

That doesn't mean it doesn't ever get hard.

And we will and do lift you up and support you and be there for you in the mud or the sunshine.

Or if you don't like sunshine, in the shade.

Any time for you.

But that also doesn't [00:12:00] mean that you don't have those days.

And maybe you have days where it's great, right?

Maybe you have days where you're like, "Oh my gosh, that wasn't so bad today. You know, I felt like today was an easier day."

Awesome. Enjoy that.

And also, it's still okay to come home and need a minute before you jump into life, right?

The other thing, when we have to work so hard, it can be that you have the personality type where you are overcompensating at home.

You are doing more than a spouse or a partner.

Maybe you are doing all of the things for the kids.

And because you work so hard and you had to work so hard as a kid, you're afraid to ask for help.

Maybe it is that you don't want to rely on anybody for help.

That's a pattern that we can work on together, right?

It's also good to start to figure out: "Where am I [00:13:00] overcompensating?"

"Where am I working too hard and I don't need to be working that hard?"

"Where can I add in breaks to rest?"

Whether it is stop and take five deep breaths or go in the bathroom, even though you don't need to go to the restroom, just to scroll social media for five minutes. And you give yourself a timer for five minutes.

Maybe it is that every night before bed you take a bath with some delicious smelling something.

Adding in those breaks to help you and to help maintain your emotional and mental space can be magic to help you get through the hard days along with enjoying your good days even more.

I love you all. Take care. Bye-bye.

Hey friends, thank you so much for joining me today. If you [00:14:00] got an aha moment. I would absolutely love to hear from you. Please like, subscribe, comment, and share. If you want to be part of an amazing group of neurodivergent human beings and share some of the love and the magic in a community where you belong, that's safe and nonjudgmental, click the link below and join our neuro Tribe community today.

Love you all. Take care. Bye.