The Underscheduled Spiral: When Avoiding Plans Becomes Your Plan (And How to Climb Out)

June 04, 2025

Are you avoiding putting things on your schedule and wondering if you're underscheduled?

Do you worry that you can only handle one thing per day because you need time to psych yourself up beforehand and recover from the fatigue afterward?

If you're a neurodivergent person who's found yourself in a season of avoidance—where even simple commitments feel overwhelming—this episode is for you. We're exploring why this happens, what your body might be trying to tell you, and how to gently re-engage with life on your terms.

But wait - is avoidance actually your current challenge? If you're currently in an overscheduling phase where you're saying yes to everything and feeling constantly overwhelmed, you might want to listen to last week's episode first: "The Overscheduled Trap: Why ADHD Brains Say Yes to Everything (And How to Break Free)." Many of us swing between these two extremes, so start wherever feels most relevant to your current experience!

𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗬𝗼𝘂'𝗹𝗹 𝗗𝗶𝘀𝗰𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿

Understanding the Underscheduled Pattern

Why you might only be able to handle one commitment per day (and why that's not necessarily a problem)
The difference between protective avoidance and problematic avoidance
How burnout can make even simple activities feel insurmountable
Why your body might be saying "no" louder than your mind is saying "yes"

𝗜𝘀 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗕𝘂𝗿𝗻𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗼𝗿 𝗦𝗲𝗹𝗳-𝗖𝗮𝗿𝗲?

How to distinguish between necessary recovery time and stuck patterns
Why some avoidance is actually your nervous system protecting you
The signs that your underscheduling might be trauma-protective
When "lazy" is actually your body's wisdom in action

𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗔𝘃𝗼𝗶𝗱𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗠𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗕𝗲 𝗧𝗲𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗬𝗼𝘂

Specific people or situations: Is your body warning you about toxic dynamics?
Certain subjects or projects: What makes some tasks feel impossible while others are manageable?
Boundary needs: Are you avoiding because you haven't learned to set limits?
Energy depletion: Has your system been running on empty for too long?

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗚𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗹𝗲 𝗥𝗲-𝗲𝗻𝗴𝗮𝗴𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗔𝗽𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗮𝗰𝗵

Body awareness practices: Tuning into what your system actually needs right now
Energy assessment: Understanding your current capacity without judgment
Thought tracking: Exploring what happens in your mind when you think about scheduling
Gradual exposure: How to slowly expand your world without overwhelming yourself

𝗞𝗲𝘆 𝗧𝗮𝗸𝗲𝗮𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀

𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗕𝗼𝗱𝘆 𝗶𝘀 𝗡𝗼𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗘𝗻𝗲𝗺𝘆

Sometimes what looks like avoidance is actually protective wisdom. Your nervous system might be creating space for necessary healing and recovery.

𝗡𝗼𝘁 𝗔𝗹𝗹 𝗔𝘃𝗼𝗶𝗱𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗖𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗘𝗾𝘂𝗮𝗹

There's a difference between avoiding something because it's genuinely not good for you and avoiding something because fear or past trauma is keeping you stuck.

𝗥𝗲𝗰𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗜𝘀𝗻'𝘁 𝗟𝗶𝗻𝗲𝗮𝗿

If you're in burnout or healing from overwhelm, your capacity will fluctuate. Honor where you are today rather than forcing yourself to be where you think you "should" be.

𝗦𝘆𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗺𝘀 𝗕𝗲𝗮𝘁 𝗙𝗼𝗿𝗰𝗲 𝗘𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗧𝗶𝗺𝗲

You can't shame or push yourself out of protective avoidance. Gentle exploration and nervous system support work better than willpower.

𝗤𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗥𝗲𝗳𝗹𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻

When you imagine putting something on your calendar, what happens in your body?
Are there specific people or situations you're avoiding? What might your body be telling you about them?
What activities or commitments still feel accessible to you, even in this season?
If your avoidance is protective, what might it be protecting you from?
What would "gentle re-engagement" look like for you right now?

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝗧𝗼𝗼𝗹𝘀 𝗖𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗻 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗘𝗽𝗶𝘀𝗼𝗱𝗲

The Body Check-In Process: How to distinguish between necessary rest and stuck patterns
The Avoidance Investigation: Questions to explore what's beneath the avoidance without judgment
The Energy Honoring Framework: Working with your current capacity instead of against it
The Gradual Expansion Method: Safe ways to slowly re-engage when you're ready

Need support for the overscheduling side of this pattern? Check out last week's episode: "The Overscheduled Trap: Why ADHD Brains Say Yes to Everything (And How to Break Free)" for strategic tools to manage overcommitment.

𝗥𝗲𝘀𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗰𝗲𝘀 𝗠𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗲𝗱

𝗙𝗿𝗲𝗲 𝗡𝗲𝘂𝗿𝗼𝗱𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗴𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗦𝘁𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗧𝗼𝗼𝗹𝗸𝗶𝘁: Get immediate access to nervous system regulation techniques designed for overwhelmed neurodivergent brains
𝗡𝗲𝘂𝗿𝗼𝗧𝗿𝗶𝗯𝗲 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗺𝘂𝗻𝗶𝘁𝘆: A safe, non-judgmental space where neurodivergent individuals learn to honor their needs while gently expanding their worlds
𝗣𝗿𝗲𝘃𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝗘𝗽𝗶𝘀𝗼𝗱𝗲: "The Overscheduled Trap: Why ADHD Brains Say Yes to Everything (And How to Break Free)" - for strategic overscheduling management

𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗮

Ready to understand your avoidance patterns with compassion? The NeuroTribe community provides ongoing support, gentle guidance, and connection with others who understand the complexity of neurodivergent scheduling challenges. You don't have to figure this out alone.

Join the NeuroTribe today and discover what it feels like to honor your needs while gradually expanding your comfort zone.

𝗝𝗼𝗶𝗻 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗡𝗲𝘂𝗿𝗼𝗧𝗿𝗶𝗯𝗲: https://theresa-minnoch-6a60.mykajabi.com/offers/zPgWxGbi/checkout

𝗝𝗼𝗶𝗻 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗡𝗲𝘂𝗿𝗼𝗧𝗿𝗶𝗯𝗲 𝟮𝟬’𝘀 𝗟𝗮𝘂𝗻𝗰𝗵𝗣𝗮𝗱: https://theresa-minnoch-6a60.mykajabi.com/offers/fJTZGd3Y/checkout

𝗗𝗼𝘄𝗻𝗹𝗼𝗮𝗱 𝗙𝗿𝗲𝗲 𝗧𝗼𝗼𝗹𝗸𝗶𝘁: https://theresa-minnoch-6a60.mykajabi.com/offers/nrzT59yp/checkout

𝗟𝗮𝘀𝘁 𝗪𝗲𝗲𝗸

Missed it? "The Overscheduled Trap: Why ADHD Brains Say Yes to Everything (And How to Break Free)" - If you've ever found yourself saying yes to everything and then crashing from overwhelm, this episode will help you understand why this happens and how to create sustainable boundaries.

The NeuroTribe Podcast is hosted by Theresa Minnoch, a neurodivergent life and business coach who helps neurodivergent individuals create authentic, sustainable lives that honor their unique wiring. Each episode provides practical tools, community connection, and the permission to be exactly where you are in your journey.

Subscribe so you never miss an episode, and share with a neurodivergent friend who needs to hear that their avoidance might actually be wisdom. Find this episode helpful? Share it with someone who needs to know that sometimes avoiding plans is exactly what they need to do.

~.~.~.~.~

#neurodivergent #ADHD #underscheduled #avoidance #neurodivergentlife #ADHDlife #burnoutrecovery #neurodivergentcoaching #selfcare #ADHDwomen #neurodivergentadults #executivefunction #ADHDstruggles #neurodivergentsupport #boundaries #energymanagement #neurodivergentcommunity #ADHDsupport #trauma #overwhelm #anxiety #protectiveavoidance #nervousystem #restisresistance #gentlehealing #neurodivergentburnout #burnout #bodyawareness #neurotribe #ADHDrecovery

Episode Transcript

avoiding, underscheduled
===

[00:00:00] Are you avoiding putting things on your schedule and worry that maybe you are under scheduled?

Maybe you worry about:

"This has been going on a long time, and I don't know if I'm doing it because I created this as a habit, or this is actually what I need."

"Is this unhealthy?"

Let's dive a little bit into that.

that you are avoiding certain stressful things, activities, or subjects.

Maybe you get stressed out if there's more than one thing on the calendar at a time, or maybe more than one thing per day at a time, because you have to psych yourself up to do the thing, and then you need to deal with the fatigue afterwards.

It is possible that you are on the verge of burnout or are actively in burnout and you just don't know.

There is one thing [00:01:00] to note here. We got here for a reason, so let's dive into why it's happening for you and what is surrounding it.

Is it that you are avoiding certain things or certain subjects or certain people?

Are you worried because you only can have one thing on your schedule per day due to the buildup before, the lack of sleep the night before, and then the fatigue that comes after it?

Are you in a place where you're just so tired and so fatigued it is hard to put rational thought together, or it is hard to make decisions and the effort and energy to do simple things like taking a walk or meeting a friend or even driving a car is hard for you at this time.

It's notable that our bodies really talk to us.

We may not fully understand what the [00:02:00] message is, but our body will tell us:

"I need downtime."

And if you don't give yourself that downtime, it will take it,

whether it's in burnout or it's in a day or days of rest, or it's:

"I am so tired or so overwhelmed, I'm going to avoid all of the things."

It's also possible when you're in burnout, it's hard to do simple things.

It's hard to do daily activities.

It's hard to manage a schedule.

And so giving yourself a break and you cannot beat yourself up into putting more things on your schedule.

So, loving and honoring yourself during this time and taking care of yourself during this time while your body recovers and you are able to get over some of the anxiety and overwhelm.

Maybe it's that you need extra self-care at this [00:03:00] time.

Whatever the self-care is that fills your cup.

I'm not talking about just oversleeping.

Also, getting a lot of sleep is important.

But I'm also talking about what brings you joy.

Is there something like an activity that you can do that you really enjoy and brings a lot to fill you up?

Is it that you like to paint or maybe you like to knit?

Maybe you like to garden.

Do things like walking around outside without your shoes and socks.

Or maybe getting a grounding mat can help you.

Maybe you need to see a naturopath or a doctor and get your vitamins checked to see if you're deficient in anything and need to supplement.

It's possible that if it's certain people or certain subject matters, [00:04:00] that you're avoiding altogether and will not put it on your schedule.

This is maybe a time to dive into: what is it?

Is it boundaries that you're needing?

Maybe, is this person a toxic person?

And your body, your mind is telling you:

"Stay away."

Maybe there is something going on in the dynamic that needs some communication and connection.

It's possible that you worked so hard on certain subjects, say a project, and now you can't seem to pull yourself together to get back to that project.

It's important to really dive into your thoughts here and figure out when you notice yourself avoid these subjects or these projects.

What is it that you're thinking?

Now, CBT is used by a lot [00:05:00] of coaches and therapists and all of the things.

And I don't think it's the end all be all for neurodivergent people because it's sometimes that we need to calm our nervous system before we can even dive into why we are doing or not doing something.

It's also to note that, not forcing yourself to do the things, but explore:

"When I'm avoiding these things, what am I thinking?"

This gives you data we can work with.

If you want to dive deeper into this subject, please feel free to click on the link below to get your free guide to Neurodivergent Stress Toolkit or join the NeuroTribe today.

Love you all.

Take care. Bye-bye.

Hey friends, thank you so much for joining me today. If you got an aha moment.

I would absolutely love to hear from you.

Please like, subscribe, [00:06:00] comment, and share.

If you want to be part of an amazing group of neurodivergent human beings and share some of the love and the magic in a community where you belong, that's safe and nonjudgmental, click the link below and join our NeuroTribe community today.

Love you all. Take care. Bye.