False accusations
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[00:00:00] Welcome to the Neuro Tribe, the podcast where authenticity meets empowerment. Your host, Theresa, is a certified business executive and life coach navigating the intricate tapestry of neurodiversity. She's someone blessed with a DHD and dyslexia and gifted a widow and a mother. To four incredible Neurodiverse children.
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False accusations: Hey friends. Welcome back. Welcome to the Neuro Tribe. You know, It's interesting in my coaching practice, I notice ebbs and flows of patterns, situations, and subjects of coaching matter.
So one of the things that I've noticed is a pattern of people being falsely accused of something. I think in general the human natural reaction is to be completely lost and blindsided. Confused as to why you're getting accused of something, especially if it's not something that you did or would do.
Then there's the [00:02:00] automatic reaction of trying to understand where it's coming from. Or it could be that you spend a lot of time trying to get the other person to see where you're coming from, understand.
What happened with you understand your side of things, and in a sense, trying to get the other person, the accuser to see it differently or change their mind or take it back. But what happens is it's like the whole type of scenario where someone says that they're gonna buy a new car and they give you the type of car, or they give you the color of car, they wanna buy a yellow car, and then all of a sudden all you see is yellow cars.
When someone is accusing you of something, they have this thought, this idea, this belief about you, and anything that you [00:03:00] say about the accusation, they are just going to find further evidence in their mind that the accused has done the thing. It could even make the accusations worse or bigger or more than, and I think for neurodivergent, individuals being accused of something is such a shot in the gut, right?
Because you're. Experiencing all kinds of things, whether it's RSD or a trauma response of being so shocked that you're so misunderstood. And that can lead to this back and forth of I didn't do this and this is why. This isn't who I am. This is what I meant. This is where I was coming from.
And the accuser might plain and simple, just [00:04:00] have their mindset of who they think you are or what they think you have done right, or that accused has done.
Part of what can happen here is the want or need to try and control what the other person thinks of you or feels about you and you. Simply cannot change the way someone thinks of you. You have no control over what other people think of you and if you are being accused, you have no control over someone accusing you of something.
The only thing that you have control over. Is you and what you think about yourself, how you show up in this world, how you show up in any given situation, and how you can take that time [00:05:00] to take care of yourself in the situation. So it could be that if you are being accused of something that's false, you can take that time and really allow yourself to feel all of the feelings.
Feel the confusion, feel the hurt. Feel the RSD. Feel the impulse to try and change the other person's mind. You can control who you want to be and how you choose to be.
It can be very powerful to allow yourself to pause, feel all of the feelings, allow everything to pass through. You allow all of the sensations and all of those urges to pass.
This gives you the ability to empower yourself to have that time to self-reflect, maybe have [00:06:00] time to see if there's any part of the accusation that is true, even if it is 1% true. This time of self-reflection gives you time to learn and grow human beings in general, we're meant to grow.
We are meant to leave who we were so we can become who we were always meant to be. It is sometimes when we get accused of something, it hurts deeply when it's happening, but that self-reflection can help you find any nugget of it that can help you grow and learn from. Now, if you notice that there is absolutely nothing of what you were accused of.
That you had any part of that, you did. This isn't who you [00:07:00] are, or this isn't how you show up in life, or this isn't part of your moral code and it, there's nothing, absolutely nothing of it. That is true.
It is possible that the person that is accusing you is projecting part of themselves on you. Quite often when people. See something in you that they recognize, or there is part of themselves that they don't want to work on, and so they project it onto you. There can be certain types of personalities where they, it's almost like they're telling on themselves by accusing you of something or they're talking about someone else.
And what someone else did, but it's really what they did. So there are some instances and scenarios [00:08:00] where an accuser accuses someone of something and it's actually their unfinished work that they haven't done themselves, and they're projecting it onto someone else.
What can happen when you are accused of something that you didn't do, or even if you find that 1% of truth in the accusation. While it can hurt setting kind, but firm boundaries with the accuser can protect yourself and protect your peace. It can be that the person that is accusing you, they don't wanna hear anything that you have to say.
They have their mind made up. In fact, anything that you do say only solidifies what they think about you or what they're accusing you of, and the accusations can keep coming and they [00:09:00] can get worse. What can happen is this hurts a lot. In the time being, and sometimes the best thing that you can do for yourself is to walk away and while walking away might hurt.
It is all you can do when you have someone who accuses you of things and they don't wanna hear you out at all. It's. Not the healthiest relationship to be in, no matter what the relationship is, whether it's work, a friendship, a partner, a family member, whatever it is. If someone is accusing you of something and they don't give you the space to be able to talk about it, talk it through, talk it out, and their accusations just snowball into mud slinging.
It is time for you to [00:10:00] protect yourself and protect your peace and love yourself, to be able to walk away and then really decide how you want to be, how you want to show up in the world.
This is really a time for you to have that self-reflection to really dive into your values, your belief systems. Your moral compass. You don't need to convince others. You only need to stay true to who you are.
I know how upsetting it can be. When you feel misunderstood or you are accused falsely,
Your piece doesn't come from changing other people's minds. It comes from clarity, self trust, and personal growth.
It's moments like these where you can take time to self-reflect and work on your own empowerment.
If [00:11:00] you have been enjoying these episodes, I would absolutely love it. If you were to come and join us in the neuro tribe, click the link below. We'll see you in there. Bye.
