Hyper moble2 edits
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hyper moble response and communication: [00:00:00] Hey friends. Welcome back to the Neuro Tribe. I am so grateful to have all of you here.
Something that we have been talking a lot about in the neuro tribe is different ways of communication ~and one thing that we have been discussing ~and it's really quite beautiful to have this space where you can feel seen and heard and valued and not judged and just safe to talk about all of the things.
And one of the things that we've been talking about is. In conversations, having that instant visceral reaction that some of us neurodivergent friends can have, and it is not something that we can control. It's almost like a bolt of lightning or an electric shock that goes through our system in the inside of our body, right through the center.
And what can happen is we can get flooded with all different kinds of [00:01:00] emotions ~and vary ~at a very rapid pace. It could be. Anger, rage frustration, excitement confusion, all of the things. We can immediately go into that fight flight response ~of. In wanting to fight, ~it can go into a complete shutdown where your brain just turns off and you cannot think or access your thoughts and be able to vocalize them.
hyper moble response and communication: I have had always, as far back as I can remember in certain conversations I will have this visceral response in my body. The response is very intense. It feels as if there's lightning or a shock going up. My central nervous system
and it's so strong and it feels so potent what also happens is for a short time afterward, [00:02:00] it's like thoughts are really hard to come by, so the visceral response happens and then my mind shuts off. Of course, growing up as a kid, I did not understand this at all, and even in my young adulthood, I did not
know what this was or what it was caused by. There were all different kinds of hypotheses. Maybe it's a trauma response, maybe it is, anxiety, who knows, right? There is the other aspect of, I knew that I was hypermobile, but I didn't know what that meant. And one of my coaches in the membership, the neuro tribe, Paula.
Paula, shout out, we had a conversation this week and she was explaining to me that people that are hyper mobile have a tendency to feel things [00:03:00] stronger. They also have heightened awareness of their fight or flight response. So the baseline of the fight or flight response is a lot higher than other people.
And so that experience is almost on higher alert all the time, and it can make a person that is hypermobile hypervigilant. I think what happens is a lot of us are trying to learn to control it. And so what if I said to you that visceral response, that instant fire that you feel inside yourself, and it's like a light turns off and you can't quite access your thoughts fully and completely for a while.
Understanding that this is part of yourself and giving this explanation that your [00:04:00] body has this reaction, and then therefore, there are times that you need time to be able to walk away from a conversation and. Get yourself back to parasympathetic or back to state of calm, so then you can get your brain back online.
You can process what has happened in the conversation and be able to come back to the conversation and talk. There is a lot of power in the ability to be able to pause.
~I think what happens is a lot of people are trying to stop the reaction or learn to be able to turn it off or stop it. And one thing that I think is really interesting is I was conversation. ~
~ And also, I will say~ it is not avoiding. A confrontation or a conversation if we need to take time to calm our bodies down and be able to process and come back and talk.
hyper moble response and communication: This is actually something that's completely necessary. What I have seen in relationships, no matter what they look like, whatever the dynamic is, [00:05:00] is we have one party that is having that visceral reaction and needing a moment to be able to walk away and calm their body and their mind, and be able to get everything back online thinking and processing to come back to the conversation.
And we might have the person who is. Wanting to have the conversation right now and maybe following the other person and seeking to finish the conversation right then and there. And that is where healthy advocacy can come up in a relationship of. I have this experience and I, I can't explain to you when it's gonna happen, how it's gonna happen or how often it's going to happen, but it does happen to me sometimes, and I get this feeling inside my body.
And that feeling is a [00:06:00] very uncomfortable feeling. It usually also floods me with a lot of emotions all at the same time. Now, this reaction is not something that I have any control over.
This isn't something. That you can work on to get rid of. This isn't something that you can fix, right? This is where we come to a place of being able to accept that this is how we are wired, this is how our body is responding in the moment that is. Maybe not in our control.
One thing that we can do is we can support ourselves in the way of maybe coming up with a code word. And when we're in a conversation with someone, and of course they know us, right? We can give them the code word of banana bread, or. Whatever, you come [00:07:00] up with your code word, and that code word gives you the opportunity to be able to walk away from the conversation while you get your body back in a parasympathetic state or a calm state, and you can get your brain back online.
What's happening when you're in that fight or flight response is you're not able to access the prefrontal cortex and think logically. And so your body is naturally going to want to preserve itself by fighting, by avoiding, or by wanting to do something that brings on pleasure or kind of makes you forget how you're feeling, right?
Loving yourself through that and realizing that you don't have control over that response in your body and teaching your mind and your body to be able to give yourself a break at that time [00:08:00] and giving yourself the ability to healthy advocate for those who do know you and know this about you by.
Coming up with a code word or maybe a body language that allows you to be able to go and spend some time by yourself for a little while and be able to calm down, ~think ~process and reapproach the conversation in a calm state can be a very powerful tool.
hyper moble response and communication: Me walking away in that time is not trying to avoid you. It is not trying to withhold from you. It is me realizing that I am needing to take care of my physical body and my mental and emotional body, so then I can come back and be able to connect with you. These types of conversations, whether it's with kids or a
spouse or someone at work or a friend, can [00:09:00] be such a powerful tool to be able to help other people understand where you are coming from, and also help you take care of yourself in those moments and love on yourself. If you would like to have conversations like this and so many more, very loving, very non-judgmental, accepting, inclusive, neuro friendly conversations in a neuro affirming
practice I would absolutely love. If you join the neuro tribe, please click the link below. We'll see you in there. Take care. Bye-bye.
