[00:00:00] Welcome to the Neurotribe, the podcast where authenticity meets empowerment. Your host, Teresa, is a certified business executive and life coach navigating the intricate tapestry of neurodiversity. She's someone blessed with ADHD and dyslexia and gifted a widow and a mother to four incredible neurodiverse children.
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Join us on this unfiltered journey where no topic is too challenging, [00:01:00] no triumph too small. Let's unravel the layers of our community's experiences, embracing the struggles, celebrating the gifts, and finding empowerment and authenticity in every episode. And let's start right now.
Hey friends, welcome back to the Neurotribe. I am so grateful to have all of you here. I'm so grateful for all of you that comment and respond and send me messages knowing more subjects that you want me to touch on and talk about. Today we are going to talk about neurodivergent teens. This is a hot topic because there's a lot going on with our ND kids. With our teens, I love to introduce the concept of a micro conversation. Now, what I mean by this is you want to have this conversation. Say, for instance, you want to talk about grades and you want to talk about how [00:02:00] to get the GPA for your child that you want. And you've got a kiddo that doesn't like to have lots of drawn out conversations.
Most teens don't. So having an idea of what you want to cover. in the whole conversation, but breaking it up into little micro conversations. And I'm saying micro conversation, as in it can be a one liner. It can be 30 seconds of a conversation. It can be less than five minutes of a conversation. But the most important thing is talking to our kids in these conversations and getting their feedback.
The teens really want to have a sense of autonomy, a sense of feeling heard and seen. And that's why they yell at you all the time that you don't listen to me. So giving them that conversation to pitch in about the subject, pitch in about what you [00:03:00] want to have that micro conversation about, and also getting that buy in with them of What the outcome of the micro conversation would look like, for instance, we could be talking about the grades and we have one conversation that you mentioned to your teen..
"Hey, did you know that you're going to start off with all A's as you enter into ninth grade this year? So wouldn't it be amazing to keep all of your grades up and maintain that rather than trying to catch up doesn't it sound easier to maintain rather than trying to catch up?" End of conversation, you stop talking, they now talk.
And it's also asking them a question, getting them to think, wait a minute, it would be easier to maintain than try and catch up. Another conversation. Hey, remember when we talked about [00:04:00] maintaining rather than catching up? Have you thought about some different ways that you can maintain your grades this year?
What supports do you need and how can I show up to help you? Again, they get to talk, you get to listen, and then you can make a plan together. These are little tiny micro conversations, but these micro conversations can be very powerful. Another thing that is so nice that I have learned over the years is figuring out how your teen likes to talk.
I have some kiddos who aren't really great on talking. They don't really want to talk. So leaving them a note on their pillow of a little card. I, at one point I went on Amazon and I bought a whole bunch of cards and you pull the card open and it has some cool, inspiring quote or something, but then on the inside of the card, you can write a little note to your teen.
[00:05:00] And I have gone to the point, if I had a teen that I knew was having a hard time, I would write a note every single day of you are amazing because, and I would be very specific about what I thought my teen was amazing for. Other teens where Getting a card didn't make any difference, but sending them a text message did so sending them a gift of I love you, or rise and shine.
Have a good day. Something like that is It's so simple of something that we can do as a parent, but it is so powerful for our teens. Our teens really want to pull back and have their own autonomy and have their own thoughts and really be an individual and also They are needing and wanting and wishing for their parents to love them and care for them and support them in all of the ways.
And while they may not show [00:06:00] it or ask for it, this is definitely something they still need. We also have teens where maybe they're bigger than you. Maybe they're the same size as you. Maybe they're going through puberty and they don't really smell very good. And they still are wanting and needing to cuddle, however you can get that, whether it's a movie night or reading a book together or listening to an audio book together can be such an amazing experience for them.
And for you, there are other teens that really, they don't want to be touched, but they want to have that interaction. Or maybe you want to have Some conversations that are needing to happen and are really important for you to conversate with your kid. Say for instance, you want to have some sex talks and you've got a teen who is so uncomfortable, they will literally leave the room, they'll hide [00:07:00] themselves under a pillow, they'll yell at you to stop, they don't want to talk to you, whatever it is.
But if you go on a car ride and you just go on a drive together and. Listen to an audio book for a while and then push pause and mention a few things about what protection is or whatever it is that you're wanting to teach your teen at that time in the micro conversation. So it's digestible for them.
Then it can be a way to have a conversation. I've had some teens of clients where Having a drive in the car and they're willing and open to talk about the big talks. What is consent? What is sex? All of the things for the whole car ride? I've had other clients that have had teens that It's so uncomfortable for them to have conversations.
They're not willing to talk about it for more than five minutes at a time. However, they are [00:08:00] willing to talk about it more often. So say there's a car ride every weekend and you do something preferred or something that they want. You get your five minute conversation of whatever the topic is that you're wanting to talk to them about.
You're having those micro conversations. The teen is learning. and feeling connected to you. It's a win win situation. So those are some different scenarios in which you can have micro conversations with your teen. thank you so much. I love you all. Take care. Please like, subscribe, and share. Bye.
