[00:00:00] Welcome to the Neurotribe, the podcast where authenticity meets empowerment. Your host, Teresa, is a certified business executive and life coach navigating the intricate tapestry of neurodiversity. She's someone blessed with ADHD and dyslexia and gifted a widow and a mother to four incredible neurodiverse children.
So each episode of The Neuro Tribe is an intimate exploration of life, love, business, and parenting through the lens of neurodiversity. Subscribe to the Neuro Tribe on your favorite podcast platform or on YouTube and never miss a story. And if you really like this show, be sure to like, subscribe, rate, and of course, share the podcast with anyone who needs to hear it.
Join us on this unfiltered journey where no topic is too challenging, [00:01:00] no triumph too small. Let's unravel the layers of our community's experiences, embracing the struggles, celebrating the gifts, and finding empowerment and authenticity in every episode. And let's start right now.
Theresa: Hey friends, welcome back. Welcome to the NeuroTribe. I just wanted to thank you all for your comments and feedback, sharing, liking, subscribing, watching, listening, all of the things and I actually created this Video and podcast for you with your feedback. So thank you very much. What I had was a lot of you were wondering, how do you have a family meeting with a neurodiverse family?
I really love family meetings for the fact that it really helps kids get involved with the family, feel like they belong and they're part of, they feel [00:02:00] seen, heard, loved, accepted, all of the things. And let's face it, our kids don't always feel that way out in society. They don't feel understood. And so having that Special place at home where they can be part of something can be such a beautiful thing. Whether you have one child or you have multiple children, giving our kids something to do to participate in the family meeting can be such a wonderful thing, giving them a job like coming up with a treat and making the treat or going to the store with us to pick out a treat, maybe having one child or your child, write down everything that you talked about in the meeting or allowing your child to be the leader
for the night [00:03:00] or for the meeting, right? Can be such an amazing thing. Always think of things multifaceted, right? And so one thing that I think of the family meeting is Connection and also valuable life lessons. And one thing that I think is a valuable life lesson is to teach our kids how to have self accountability, how to feel empowered, how to think about The celebrating the wins for them and giving them that opportunity rather than me always telling them, how to be accountable or making them be accountable, telling them when to celebrate or giving them, each celebration, teaching them to do it for themselves, I think, is a really beautiful thing.
And so I always call it the three W's in my house. Want wish [00:04:00] win. So when we talk about the want a want is, I really wanted this to happen this week, and this gives our kids the opportunity to either talk about, say, you know what, mom, I really wanted to read to you on Tuesday. Or Mom, I really wanted to get an A on my test and I got a C. It gives our kids the opportunity to tell us as parents what they want or what they could have wanted during the week. Now wish is the opportunity to give our kids an accountability of themselves. So in my house, and I teach some of my clients, a wish is what I wish I could have done differently.
You know what, mom, I wish that I could [00:05:00] have Done my chores this week. I wish that I could have, you know, fill in the blank. This gives our kids the opportunity to think and self reflect and put forth a wish that they can then, in the future, they've thought about it, they've self reflected, and they can work towards a new result in their future. The last one is win, and this gives our kids the opportunity to really celebrate their wins during the week.
And whether it's big wins or small wins, it also gives them the opportunity to tell you the things that happened in the week that they are excited about. Let's face it. I am neurodivergent. I also run a company. Busy mom, right? And chore charts did [00:06:00] not work for me. Writing things, having chores different days didn't work for me. It was confusing. People didn't know what day they needed to do what thing. They didn't know, what was next. I think it just caused a lot of confusion and frustration in the house. And I am a single mom with four kids. I am neurodivergent. They are neurodivergent.
It's impossible for us to keep track of things that are ever changing. And for us, it was a lot easier to have each kid have the same chore every day or every week. And of course they're age appropriate. I'm not, an eight year old to go mow the lawn, but age appropriate chores to be part of the family and really pitch in and feel like they are contributing to the house.
It's a very empowering feeling and also helps them be [00:07:00] capable. Now there are some families that give their kids allowance for doing chores. I chose not to because I don't want my kids to feel like they're, have to do chores to earn money. In my opinion, we are all a team.
We are all pitching in to work together to keep the house running. And also being able to do things and learn new skills is a very important thing for our kids because it helps them build that confidence. Another thing that I really like doing with the chores is giving your kids a compliment on the chores that they are doing around the house, being very specific with the compliment of, Hey, you know, I really appreciate when you cleaned the kitchen, you scrubbed the counters and they.
Look really good. And the stove I noticed was extra clean this week. [00:08:00] Good job. Things like that, where you are telling them exactly what you appreciated about what they did, can give them the sense where they know that as they are doing the chores that you see what they do and they feel like you value what they're doing to contribute to the house. Another thing that can be so nice is bringing our kids in and talking to them about dinners and having them help with different ideas for dinners. This can really spark some interesting conversations, I think, because you get to hear not only the foods that your kids like, but maybe something that they want to try that's new,
some of our kids want to help and learn how to cook and help with dinner. This is a life skill that they will take on forever. I have clients that [00:09:00] are in their twenties that never learned how to cook. And so they're just now learning how to cook and they are loving it. It helps them feel really good.
It helps them feel like they are. part of the family and they are contributing and it's so nice to be able to do that also with our younger kids. With my kids, I think I just searched on Amazon toddler cutting knives. And it's these knives that you can buy that can cut vegetables or cut foods, but it doesn't cut the kids hands.
It won't hurt the kids. And so my kids learn to use those first. And then of course, when they're older and they got more dexterity they graduated to, the big people knives. So that's something that's an option. It's not for everyone. It's not for [00:10:00] every family, but it is something that we can help encourage with our kids.
There are kids that really, Enjoy baking, enjoy cooking. And for some of our kiddos, it ends up being a way where they are able to process and think through some of their thoughts and process emotions as they are cooking or baking or it can be one of their creative outlets. So I find this to be fun to talk about in family meetings. One thing I really like is Having our family members tell each other what they like and or love about each other. It can be something like, I really love the way that you laugh. Or sometimes it can be, I like the shoes that you were wearing today, but giving that opportunity to [00:11:00] allow family members to tell each other what they like or love about each other can be a bonding moment for us.
Now, I gave a lot of different suggestions of what you can do in a family meeting and I always love to wrap the family meeting up with the treat that is made before the family meeting or purchased before the family meeting and having that treat together and then moving on to a preferred thing that they like to do, whether it's a movie night or board game night or whatever it is, go on a walk together, whatever it is for your family that you all enjoy doing together.
It creates this special time for you and your family To be able to enjoy each other's time. Now, one thing that I really noticed is at first, family [00:12:00] meetings can be a hot mess. You could have maybe some yelling going on, people wanting to leave, people wanting to, maybe you have kids that aren't wanting to sit at the table.
So it can be that you Have one kid that's, twirling around while the other kids are sitting or you have two kids that are walking around the table instead of sitting. That's totally fine. However, you want to hold your family meeting. Maybe you don't sit at the table, but you're in the living room so they can, participate, but in their comfiest place.
Comfy spot, right? And having the family meeting be a hot mess at first is okay, and allowing it to end early or, maybe you have some arguments at first, this is all normal until kids get used to the [00:13:00] rhythm of the family meeting. It can be that your family meetings are really short at first, and as your kids get used to it, or as they mature, they can get a little bit longer as the kids go.
When I first started the family meetings we actually would do our family meetings while we were eating dinner. And then we could have our dessert and either board game or. family movie afterwards. And that was fine because people are eating and we're talking as we go. Moral of the story is family meetings don't need to be perfect. They can look however you want them to look and there doesn't necessarily have to be rules. I think the important part is the conversation or the connection and really [00:14:00] giving the time and space for the family to have a bonding moment and get everyone in the house involved with being part of the household, being part of the family.
And it's the connection that can be such a beautiful thing. So thank you so much. I really enjoy talking about the subject and so many other things that our neurodivergent families can do together, especially if you are a busy working parent like myself. See you later. Bye.
