[00:00:00] Hey friends, I am so grateful to have all of you here. Welcome Neurotribe. We are in the holiday season and a lot of you will be going on holiday break or winter break in your area. Some of you are unschoolers or homeschoolers. So this is kind of moot points, but hang with me because even if you were an unschooler or a homeschooler, you might hear something fun or that you like or that you enjoy.
Now I am a mom of four. I have unschooled, I've homeschooled and I've had my kids in public school. I've had my kids in private school. I swear we've tried it all.
I personally love. Holiday breaks. I absolutely enjoy spending time with my kids and also I can appreciate how my sensory needs and [00:01:00] my stress levels can go up during that time as well. For some of my stress, I am not always taking every day off and so I'm seeing clients at home In my home office with my kids home and it can be louder.
It can be tripping my sensory needs. It can be harder for me to concentrate and so I know going into the holiday, having conversations with my kids ahead of time and also mentally, emotionally, and physically preparing myself is really important. In need, in order, right? . I always like to have a family meeting before we get into the holiday time. Now, some of you are really against family meetings. I personally really love having family meetings because most of my kids have a sense of PDA and depending on the level of each kid depends on [00:02:00] where their PDA level is.
I did have one of my kids diagnosed with ODD, but really, with my knowledge, I lean more towards PDA than ODD. It very much is this demand for autonomy that They need. And so going into the holiday break it's, a little over two weeks of a break that they get.
And so I like to ask them, what are your wants? What are your needs during the break? And for some of my kids they're like, I just need to catch up on some sleep. And so I am not necessarily giving them a, time that they wake up. I do, even with my older kids, give them the, it's time to go to bed, because what can happen in my house is
I have kids that are older and I have [00:03:00] kids that are younger and the kids that are older very much like to stay up late and then the kids that are younger get up at 4, 4:30, 5, 5:30 in the morning and there can be a clash and then there ends up being a lot of yelling and screaming. So for me personally, in my household, I give a hardcore bedtime during the holiday season. So that way there's not a clash of personalities and super fatigued teens yelling at my younger kids. So I don't even know if I want to say that in the podcast, but I feel like that's a real dose of Theresa. So I think decide ahead of time and really be real with yourself of does this house need a bedtime? Does this house need a rise time? And if you don't, then you might have kids that are getting up at 11, 12, 1, 2 o'clock in the afternoon. I [00:04:00] personallylike to have my kids up by at least 9 a. m. because I know some of them are really lacking and low on dopamine and with hormone changes and depending on if they're female or male, depending on how much blood flow is going on, having A nine AM rise time where they get up, they see the light of day. In my area, it gets dark really early in the afternoon. It's Four o'clock, 415, it's dark again. So it gives at least their brain and their chemistry a time during the day to be up and see the light of day.
Now, during the family meeting, what I genuinely like to do is ask each kid if they have a thing that they want to do during holiday break, during winter break. So for instance, I'll have one kid [00:05:00] who maybe wants to go bowling and another kid who wants to do mini golf and another kid where they just want to have a day where we
wear jammies and watch movies all day long and another kid wants to go sledding or skiing. So I put together a want wish list of each kid gets one thing that they get to choose to do during the winter break. And it helps bring the family together and everybody gets invested in it. I also very much like during the holiday time to help each kid feel some sort of connection with me. Now all you, all of you know that I am a widow, so it's really important for me to give each kid some special and alone time.
I also give each kid the option of, [00:06:00] what do you wanna do with mom when we have our special time? And there are times if budget is an issue that I'll say. What do you want to do that's our special time just at home and that allows different kids to be able to decide, "Oh, I want to do Legos with you", or "I just want to cuddle in your bed and have some hot chocolate with marshmallows and watch a movie together."
Or, "you know what, mom, I'd really like to read a book with you every night before bed", whatever that looks like. "I want to go on a hike with you, or I want to go on a walk with you",
So each kid gets to give you something that they want to do just with you alone, whether it's go to a movie or maybe go out to eat together. So it's totally up to you, but this can add a lot of fun and a lot of love and a lot of [00:07:00] joy during your winter breaks. The other aspect of the winter breaks is Especially our kiddos that are in school, whether they're in private school or they're in public school, there is a lot for them to be thinking about to be working on fitting in, socializing, following instructions.
There's a lot of demand on them in the school setting, and so sometimes we can see a spike of, behaviors. I'm calling them behaviors because that's what you guys call them. But what I say symptoms of them having that moment of the difference between masking then when they come home, they don't have to mask.
And so there can be a couple of days [00:08:00] where their behaviors or their symptoms maybe might be heightened.It might be harder for some of the other family members. Maybe it's harder for you. Maybe there's some vocal stimming happening. Maybe there's some screeching happening. Maybe there's some tangible tapping happening.
Maybe there is some instigating of arguments. And this can be because they are needing to go from very structured And masking and lots of demands on them to wait a minute. I don't even know what to do with myself, who I am, what's authentic to me when all of that isn't put on me. And then now.
Now I can chill out a little bit and take a deep breath and, sit and have some quiet time and read a book or play iPad. Maybe you start to get a little bit more hugs or some [00:09:00] affectionduring that time, and then as time gets closer to when school gets back in, we're also adding in the transition of school coming out and the transition of school going back in.
So this is a time as a parent of neurodivergent kids of us just giving a lot of love and grace during this time. And understanding that. While they can't communicate all of their needs, or maybe even what's going on with them, these are all things for us to consider, and how can we co regulate with them?
How can we show up for them during this time, and how do we want to? To show up for them during this time. It may be that you have a kid who's like, "I am on winter break. This is the most amazing time. I feel fully myself. I feel totally rested [00:10:00] and unstressed for the first time since September.
And this is amazing." And you don't start to see any spikes of symptoms or behaviors until after school starts. Whatever that looks like for you, I say, talk about it, right? There are so many different things that we can do for our kids. to help them with these transitions. Number one, especially if they're younger, they might need longer times to sleep.
Number two, giving them some activities to do that hit their different sensory needs. For instance, maybe it's a painting project or, and later on, maybe it's some. Screen time and then later on, it's reading time. Whatever that looks like for you, there are a lot of you that are out there thatit might be beneficial [00:11:00] to sign them up for some sort of a winter break class, like an art class or say you've got a kiddo who loves sports.
Maybe they go to a sports camp for two days out of the winter break vacation, right? Maybe they love love, love sports. science. And so you sign them up for a science day or even a couple of hours here or there. Maybe you take your kids to really get a lot of energy out by going on a hike or going on a long walk or taking them to a parkour or gym or taking them to a rock climbing gym and that can help them regulate their system and they don't even know that, that is what they're needing.
I hope this all helps you enjoy your winter break. I love you all. Take care. Bye bye.
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