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Welcome to the Neurotribe, the podcast where authenticity meets empowerment. Your host, Teresa, is a certified business executive and life coach navigating the intricate tapestry of neurodiversity. She's someone blessed with ADHD and dyslexia and gifted a widow and a mother to four incredible neurodiverse children.
So each episode of The Neuro Tribe is an intimate exploration of life, love, business, and parenting through the lens of neurodiversity. Subscribe to the Neuro Tribe on your favorite podcast platform or on YouTube and never miss a story. And if you really like this show, be sure to like, subscribe, rate, and of course, share the podcast with anyone who needs to hear it.[00:01:00]
Join us on this unfiltered journey where no topic is too challenging, no triumph too small. Let's unravel the layers of our community's experiences, embracing the struggles, celebrating the gifts, and finding empowerment and authenticity in every episode. And let's start right now.
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Hey friends! How are you? Welcome back to the Neurotribe. Today we are going to be talking about parenting ND kids during the holidays. I think all of us have a little bit of the aspect of we need to regulate ourselves during the holidays and we need to co regulate and regulate with our kids during the holidays, which can be challenging because we're talking about the holidays.
Some of us work more during the holidays, some of us work less, but what is going on is [00:02:00] there is later nights, there's shopping, there's malls, oh my gosh, I hate the mall, it's way too much sensory overload for me anyway. There's candy, there's hot chocolate, there's sweets, there is lights, there is sounds, there's busy places, there are holiday activities, there are going to families and or friends houses, and some may or may not understand our
Neurodivergent traits. So how do we deal with all of the things? Because it's a lot. And I can't even talk about all of it in one sitting. So we're just gonna talk about one thing at a time. First, allowing ourselves Some semblance of structure is really helpful in this time. So trying to figure out a way [00:03:00] where we can give ourselves a little bit extra of some sleep hours or rest hours or downtime is really important in this time.
Meaning for me, what I do for myself isI will go to bed early on weeknights and sleep in a little bit more on weekends, and that allows me to be able to maintain my energy throughout the holiday season. It also helps fill my reserves, as some of you may or may not know.
I have been in recovery for burnout, and that can last a long time and that might be something that you're dealing with too. The other thing that I do for myself as a neurodivergent individual is I am steady and stable on taking my medication and my supplements. And for this time of year, I am giving myself every supplement that [00:04:00] I need to maintain my health and my adrenal fatigue.
You guys can research what supplements you need to take. You can ask a doctor, you can ask a naturopath, it's up to you. I'm not going to get into supplements for this particular conversation. SoAnother thing that What we can do as a family and it's both for myself and for my children is have quiet family time and what that looks for us is building a fire and watching a movie or building a fire and playing board games and it's just us.
It's very intentionally quiet time.
Another really great co regulating thing that we can do as a family is doing very simple things like baking together [00:05:00] or Making soup together, doing things where we are in our space, we are quiet, we're spending one on one time together, we're spending quality time together, and it doesn't have a lot of extra outside, but it gives ourselves some targeted sensory needs.
Now, as far as going out to very busy environments where there is a Christmas, something happening or there's a large holiday event, I choose personally not to take my kids to extremely busy places. places where our sensories are going to go and overload and we're going to get pushed and knocked around. That may be something that you very much want to do and look forward to. And that is totally fine. My suggestion if [00:06:00] you are doing that is to allow for headphones or Earbuds to be put in so things aren't as hard on the ears, even if it's at nighttime and if there is a lot of lights, bright lights and sounds,
Even allowing something like those glasses that you wear for screens or sunglasses could be helpful for your kiddo.
Or it could be that you set a boundary and you just simply say that's not for us. We can't we're not able to do that this year.
Now, there are things that you can do that are outside that maybe aren't too loud, aren't too busy, or aren't too stimulating, and that is absolutely wonderful if you can find those types of things. My [00:07:00] suggestion is just figuring out some codes. Giving each person in the family, the ability to have a code where they don't need to explain themselves, but the code is, I need a break and let's say the child or even mom needs a break and you just look to each family member and say banana and banana means I need a break.
That means let's find a quiet place for us to regroup or I need a moment. Another thing before going into group activities or other people's homes, or if you're going out into public, deciding before you get there, deciding ahead of time, where is a safe place for everyone to gather and regroup? If someone is lost, where is the safe place?
And if you don't know the lay of the land beforehand, you [00:08:00] can always pick one when you get there. The other thing is also if you have little ones, being able to scout out a security booth or security place where they can go if for some reason they get overwhelmed and you lose your hand grip and they get lost, right?
Always figuring out where is a safe place to meet and trying to find that safe place to meet.
If you're going over to a friend's or a family's house, it's always nice to find a safe place for your kiddo to be able to go and have some quiet time. There are times where we just need to excuse ourselves. I remember when I was little and even now as an adult, if I am at someone's house and I'm just needing a [00:09:00] moment to myself to take a couple of deep breaths and re Ground myself.
I go into the bathroom, even if I don't need to go to the bathroom. I just go into the bathroom so I can take a few deep breaths. Think about our ND kids. Our ND kids need that quite often. And maybe the bathroom isn't always an option. Or they don't even like to go in the bathroom unless they need to.
Finding some corner or nook in the house that you're visiting that is a safe place and pre designed by both you and the person that own the house can be a really great asset for your kids. There are a lot of people that are for gaming, for screens and against gaming or screens. In this particular instance, I am really for screens, gaming, a place to be able to [00:10:00] give our kids the capability to escape and help themselves regulate and giving Some earphones or headphones, noise canceling headphones or headphones that can attach to a gaming system where they can just zone out and have some time alone for a little bit can be so helpful.
Being able to express our boundaries to our loved ones, whether it's family members or friends, what is okay to say to us about us or to our children in front of our children is completely within your right. Being able to say things like, you know what? I love your input. However, that's not words that we use in our household.
And I'd really appreciate it if you could be [00:11:00] kinder with your words. Being able to advocate and speak firmly yet kindly to your friends and family,That is completely within your right as a parent. There are some times where you have family members that might be a little bit more outspoken and it could be that having a conversation with them before getting there about what is okay with you and what is not okay with you to say in front of your children or to say about you in front of other people.
Is a conversation to have, but then also backing that up with I absolutely want to come. I am looking forward to having time with us as a family, as a whole, just to give you a precursor. I really [00:12:00] don't like it when you refer to my child as that kid. If you refer to my child as "that kid", I will correct you and give you my child's name, John. If I hear you refer to John as "that kid" on multiple occasions, while I would like to stay and enjoy the festivities. I'm going to go ahead and take John and we're going to go home for the rest of the day. Another thing I think that is really important for us is how often really uncomfortable clothes are expected to be used.and what I'd like to offer is that really allowing ourselves and our kids Clothes that feel good to us and really meet our sensory needs that's such an asset. Speaking of sensory [00:13:00] needs, being able to have something with us, whether it's something that we smell, like as an essential oil, or being able to have code words where it's, I need a break or my time limit is up is also a real big asset to have during the holiday season pre planning of Giving ourselves or our spouses or our children a plan of what time we are leaving can be very encouraging and also add a security blanket.
If there is, we are going to aunt's house. And we're just going to be there all day long in, in the past that has been overwhelming or that has been a lot giving a time of we are going to aunt's house from 10 a. m. until 2 [00:14:00] p. m. or 10 a. m. until 1 p. m. can be such a help to a nervous system when Sometimes things can feel overwhelming.
On a holiday morning, it could be that Opening gifts can be a lot. I mean it can be a sensory overload. So giving some kind of structure to that can be helpful, whether it's each person takes a turn opening gifts, or each person gets to open a gift at the same time. But then there's a pre designed break in the gift giving, where you all take a beat, take a pause. You go and have breakfast together and then afterwards you're able to get back to the gifts or put the batteries in or put the things together, whatever that [00:15:00] looks like for you.
I am so grateful to have all of you here and during this holiday season, whatever holiday it is that you are celebrating. And I just really appreciate all of you. Please like, subscribe, and share. Love you all. Take care. Bye bye.
