[00:00:00] Welcome to the Neurotribe, the podcast where authenticity meets empowerment. Your host, Teresa, is a certified business executive and life coach, navigating the intricate tapestry of neurodiversity. She's someone blessed with ADHD and dyslexia, and gifted a widow and a mother. To four incredible Neurodiverse children.
So each episode of the Neuro Tribe is an intimate exploration of life, love, business, and parenting through the lens of neurodiversity. Subscribe to the Neuro tribe on your favorite podcast platform or on YouTube and never miss a story. And if you really like this show, be sure to like, subscribe, rate, and of course share the podcast with anyone.
Join us on this unfiltered journey where no topic is too challenging, [00:01:00] no triumph too small. Let's unravel the layers of our community's experiences, embracing the struggles, celebrating the gifts, and finding empowerment and authenticity in every episode. And let's start right now.
Hi friends, welcome back. I am so grateful to have all of you here. Thank you. Thank you. So today we are going to talk about kind of some process that I have been going through and I have worked on this before for various things, but I am finding this one to be challenging. And so I'm going to give you guys all a look into my struggles with executive functioning.
And how I am really using escapism in my executive functioning. there are just some things that I really want to do that I have some major goals in doing them. I have struggled with [00:02:00] executive functioning since I can remember. It's just a part of how my brain was built. What I do so often is I pick up my phone and before I know it I have been doom scrolling. So as I've been really trying to help myself with executive functioning and I'm just going to tell you guys too, I am not currently on ADHD executive functioning has been a serious struggle, which is why I've reached out and I have personally chosen. to go down the ADHD med route. That is just the choice that I have decided to make for my own personal needs because I really have some very big goals that I'm working to reach. And I feel for my personal brain, that I need [00:03:00] that assistance at this time.
To help me reach my goals because it's not for a lack of trying that I can't get to that next level. It is more that I am trying so hard. It's almost exhausting. And I know that there are going to be some of you out there who get what I'm saying. So having said that I said the words executive functioning, I said doom scrolling, and I also said escapism.
So before I go into this, I'm going to kind of explain what that means. Executive functioning and escapism can very much be married, right? So escapism is seek pleasure, avoid pain, be efficient. It is when you are. Not wanting to feel a feeling, or you're not wanting to think the thoughts, so you escape, right?
You use an escape route, and that usually looks like [00:04:00] Finding and following something that you would prefer, or avoiding something, right? Okay, so It means, I don't want to feel this feeling, so I'm going to go get a snack instead. I don't want to do this task, so I'm going to go clean the house instead. I am really upset and I'm having a lot of big emotions, so I am going to go watch TV and binge watch for hours at a time.
What I'm describing very much is part of executive functioning, but there's also this escapism. Mixed in with it executive functioning is so real. It's like you go into Your email and you go to email somebody and you can't remember Who you were gonna email or what you were gonna email or you go in to email somebody and you realize you just answered ten other emails without answering the first.
I want to say, write this article. [00:05:00] I feel so vulnerable to write this article. So instead of writing this article, I'm going to pick up my phone and I'm going to just check Facebook really quick. And then before I know it, 30 minutes, 40 minutes have gone by. I've doom scrolled, meaning I have scrolled Facebook or Instagram or TikTok for the last 30, 40 minutes.
I've done nothing productive whatsoever, there's executive functioning married to escapism, if that kind of makes sense. So with my executive functioning, there is some of it. I just cannot help. I will go into the kitchen and forget what I went into the kitchen for.
I will clean the bathroom to realize that I needed to do the laundry to realize that the dishes weren't done. And then unload the dishwasher to realize, wait a minute, wasn't I [00:06:00] cleaning the bathroom? And then get distracted with the kids and realize the dog didn't go on a walk. I have some very big goals and Some of them are I want to complete some certifications. I want to complete some classes I want to get some things turned in and I want to Finish some tasks that I have been working on for a very long time that really mean a lot to me.
I also find that I genuinely want to go work out quite a bit. The last few months I was told by several doctors that I most likely had breast cancer. And what has happened in that time is the escapism has gone out the window. I have not been doing certain things that I needed to do.
I have not been doing [00:07:00] marketing. I have not been posting on social media as often as I could. I had a lot of really big emotions coming up. One of the things that really became very clear to me was that I was escaping into my phone.
I was escaping into the land. And so I told myself just stop, right? It's just don't do that. That's funny, right? So not only am I having these big emotions, I'm having major executive functioning, which we all know that when you have a lot of big emotions, executive becomes harder, right?
Then on top of that I'm trying to do these really big tasks and I'm working on Completing these certifications. I'm working on completing my membership. I'm working on completing these many courses I Have all this marketing do the list is [00:08:00] just it goes longer and longer
I wasn't on my phone posting on social media. I was on my phone watching chicken videos because they make me laugh. So I definitely was doom scrolling and I definitely was escaping. I also was having major issues with my executive functioning
my point is I realized I needed to ask for help and therefore I have an appointment. Just to talk about med management for myself. when I told myself that I could just stop doom scrolling, I really wasn't paying attention to how strong that urge to pick up my phone and doom scroll would be. I also didn't anticipate how challenging it would be [00:09:00] for me to catch myself on my phone without even realizing I had picked it up to start scrolling, right?
So again, escapism, executive functioning, married. Y'all don't hate on me. This is very real, right? So I had to start backtracking. When I would notice that I am on the phone and I didn't realize that I had picked it up, I had to backtrack what I was doing. Okay, what was I doing before I was on the phone?
Okay, I was doing X, Y, Z. Okay, while I was doing X, Y, Z, what was I thinking? The other times that I was on the phone and didn't realize I was on the phone very much were times when I was thinking about what do I do if I'm not [00:10:00] alive anymore?
I have four kids and I am a widow and these feelings were so strong. They were such big feelings and I was feeling so dysregulated by having these feelings that I would start fight, flight, freeze response, which I tend to go into fun or freeze a lot personally, and I would just pick up my phone.
And before I knew it, time had gone by. I could have been doing other things, but I didn't. And this wasn't a choice of, I'm just not going to do the things. It really was, I don't know if I can feel this right now. So I'm going to escape into social media land, which to be super honest, you guys, the chicken videos make me laugh.
They are funny. The animal videos were my heart. I love them. [00:11:00] The people that dance like a bird, I absolutely adore it. And also there's a lot on social media that doesn't make me feel good because going through this emotion of genuinely contemplating my life and death, I started comparing myself to other people, which made me want to escape even more.
Having said all of that very personal information I am now coming to tell you that my work is going to be reducing my escapism. I am of course going to be working on my executive functioning And I also realize at this time, I need help with my executive functioning.
So my addressing that is getting the help. So I am going to be personally [00:12:00] relying heavily on working as a partner with another coach. I'm working on with my therapist, I am working on executive functioning, and I am asking for help with med management. When I start to notice these really big feelings, what I'm going to do instead is notice that I'm feeling the big feelings.
And instead of picking up the phone, I'm going to stop and be very present with my big feelings. I'm going to see and feel that I have an urge in my body and it's almost like it's an itch that I want to scratch and can't scratch by picking up my phone and looking at social media. So I'm going to stop, feel my feelings, allow myself to process these feelings.
and allow anything that is not serving me to be released into the universe to serve its higher good. A [00:13:00] couple of the other thing I'm also going to do is. If I notice that I have picked up the phone and I am scrolling, I'm going to go ahead and stop and allow myself that space without beating myself up to figure out what's going on for me. Is this an executive functioning issue or is this an escape?
And really love myself through that variance. As I reduce this amount of escapism in my phone, I want to come and check in with all of you and let you know how things are going. I want to hold myself accountable by putting it out there to the entire world. What is different? What is changing in my life?
What I'm noticing and am I getting through all of the things that I genuinely would like to get through? I am so grateful that you guys all listened to all my personal stuff [00:14:00] this week. And you're going along with this journey with me on executive functioning, issues. If you're having executive functioning challenges and you're noticing that you're using escapism, I would love to hear from you.
So comments, that you want to have a little talk about it. I absolutely want to be able to serve you guys and teach you what I am learning. Thank you. All at the same time. I love you guys. Thank you so much. Take care. Bye bye.
