Executive Functioning and Doom Scrolling
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[00:00:00] Welcome to The Neurotribe, the podcast where authenticity meets empowerment. Your host, Teresa, is a certified business executive and life coach, navigating the intricate tapestry of neurodiversity. She's someone blessed with ADHD and dyslexia and gifted a widow and a mother to four incredible neurodiverse children.
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Hi friends. Welcome back. I am so grateful to have all of you here. Thank you. So today we are going to talk about. Some process that I have been going through and I have worked on this before for various things. But I am finding this one to be challenging. And so I'm going to give you guys all a look into. My struggles with executive functioning. And how I am really using escapism. In my executive functioning. So, there are just some things that I really want to do that I have some major goals in doing them. I have struggled with executive functioning since I can remember.
It's [00:02:00] just a part of how my brain was built. I don't, heavily drink. I don't partake in any type of. Recreational drug activities. you know, I just don't have any vices. What I do do. So often is I pick up my phone. And before I know it. I have been doom scrolling. So as I've been really trying to help myself with executive functioning. and I'm just going to tell you guys too, I am not currently on ADHD meds.
And so my executive functioning. Has been a serious struggle, which is why I've reached out. And I have personally chosen. To go down the ADHD med route. .
That's the choice that I have decided to make. For my own personal needs, because I [00:03:00] really have some very big goals that I'm working to reach. And I feel for my personal brain that I need that assistance at this time, I genuinely need. medication to help me reach my goals because it's not for a lack of trying that I can't get to that next level.
It is more that I am trying so hard. It's almost exhausting. And I know that there are going to be some of you out there who get what I'm saying. So. Having said that. I said the words, executive functioning. I said doom scrolling. And I also said escapism. So before I go into this, I'm going to kind of explain what that means. Executive functioning and escapism can very much be married. Right.
So escapism really is, [00:04:00] seek pleasure, avoid pain, be efficient. It is when you are. Not wanting to feel a feeling or you're not wanting to think the thoughts. So you escape, right. You use an escape route, and that usually looks like fall finding and following something that you would prefer or avoiding something.
Right. So it means I don't want to feel this feeling. So I'm going to go get a snack and stead. I don't want to do this task, so I'm going to go clean the house instead. I am really upset and I'm having a lot of big emotions. So I am going to go watch TV and binge watch for hours at a time. So these are like what I'm describing very much as part of executive functioning, but there's also, this escape is a. Kind of mixed in with it. Because, executive functioning is so real.
It's like you [00:05:00] go into your email and you go to email somebody, and you can't remember who you were going to email or what you were going to email, or you go into email, somebody, and you realize you just answered 10 other emails without answering the first email to begin with. I want to say, write this article. I feel so vulnerable to write this article.
So instead of writing this article, I'm going to pick up my phone and I'm going to just check Facebook really quick. And then before I know it. 30 minutes, 40 minutes have gone by I've doom scrolled. Meaning I have scrolled Facebook or Instagram or tick talk for the last 30, 40 minutes. I've done nothing productive whatsoever, but I also didn't have to be uncomfortable and vulnerable by writing this article.
There's executive functioning, [00:06:00] married to escapism. If that kind of makes sense. So with my executive functioning, there is some of it that I genuinely
I just cannot help. I will go into the kitchen and forget what I went into the kitchen for. I will clean the bathroom to realize that I needed to do the laundry to realize that the dishes weren't done and then unload the dishwasher to realize, wait a minute, it wasn't tight. Cleaning the bathroom. And then get distracted with the kids and realize the dog didn't go on a walk.
So then I would go take the dog on a walk to come back to realize, oh wait, I haven't finished the bathroom yet.
That is some serious executive functioning happening. As I said before, I have some very big goals and some of them are, I want to complete some certifications. I want to complete some classes.
I want to [00:07:00] get some things turned in and I want to finish some tasks that I haven't been working on for a very long time. That really mean a lot to me. I also find that I genuinely want to go work out quite a bit. Well, nobody knows. It's very hush, hush, quiet. But over the last few months, I was told by several doctors that I most likely had breast cancer. And what has happened in that time is the escapism and the executive functioning. I have not been doing certain things that were really important to my business.
I have not been doing marketing. I have not been posting on social media as often as I could. I have not been writing as many articles as I could. I had a [00:08:00] lot of really big emotions coming up. Therefore I was wanting to escape those emotions. one of the things that really became very clear to me was that I was escaping into my phone. I was escaping into social media land. I told myself we'll just stop right. It's just don't do that.
That's kind of funny, right? So, not only am I having these big emotions, I'm having major executive functioning, which we all know that when you have a lot of big emotions, executive functioning becomes harder. So then on top of that, I'm trying to do these really big tasks and I'm working on. Completing the certifications I'm working on completing my membership.
I'm working on completing these mini courses. I have all this marketing to do. The list is just it. it goes [00:09:00] longer and longer and longer. And what I noticed is the huge pockets of time. On my phone. And I wasn't. On my phone posting on social media, I was on my phone watching chicken videos. Because they make me laugh. I was on my phone, watching people dance like a bird. so I definitely was do scrolling and I definitely was escaping. I also was having major issues with my executive functioning, which is why. I realized I needed to ask for help.
And therefore I have an appointment. To talk about med management for myself. No.
When I told myself that I could just stop. Doom scrolling. [00:10:00] Aye. Really wasn't paying attention to how strong that urge to pick up my phone and doom scroll would be. I also didn't anticipate how challenging it would be for me to catch myself on my phone. Without even realizing I had picked it up to start scrolling.
Right. So again, Escapism executive functioning, married. Yeah, don't hate on me. It's this very, very real. Right. So. I had to start backtracking. When I would notice that I am on the phone. And I didn't realize that I had picked it up. I had to backtrack what I was doing. Okay. What was I doing? Before I was on the phone. Okay. I was doing XYZ. [00:11:00] Okay.
While I was doing XYZ. What was I thinking? The thought that I was thinking was quite often something along the lines of. This feels very vulnerable. it was quite often, I don't know if I can do this. These were kind of the thoughts that I was thinking. The other times that I was on the phone and didn't realize I was on the phone. Very much were times when I was thinking about what do I do if I'm not alive anymore. I have four kids and I am a widow. And these feelings were so.
Strong. They were such big feelings and I was feeling so dysregulated by having these feelings that. I would start to get in the fight or flight response. fight or freeze [00:12:00] response, which I tend to go into freeze a lot personally. And, I would just pick up my phone and before I knew it, time had gone by, I could have been doing other things, but I didn't. And this wasn't a choice of, I'm just not going to do the things.
It really was. I don't know if I can feel this right now. So I'm going to escape into social media land. Which to be super honest, you guys, the chicken videos make me laugh. They are funny. The animal videos were my heart. I love them. The people that dance like a bird. I absolutely adore it. And also there's a lot on social media that doesn't make me feel good. Because going through this emotion of genuinely contemplating my life and death.
I started comparing [00:13:00] myself to other people. Which made me want to escape even more. And the doom scrolling. Just continued and got more So. Having said all of that very vulnerable, very personal information. I am now coming to tell you that. My work for the rest of the summer is going to be. Reducing my escapism.
I am of course, going to be working on my executive functioning. I also realized at this time, I need help with my executive functioning. So my addressing that is getting the help. So I am going to be personally. Relying heavily on working as a partner with another coach. I'm working on with my therapist.
I am working on [00:14:00] executive functioning. And I'm asking for help with med management. As far as my escapism. This is something that I have complete control over.
When I start to notice these really big feelings. What I'm going to do instead is notice that I'm feeling the big feelings. And instead of picking up the phone, I'm going to stop and be very present with my big feelings. I'm going to see and feel that I have an urge in my body and it's almost like it's an itch that I want to scratch and can't scratch by picking up my phone. And looking at social media. and then I am going to tell myself, you know what, it's okay.
You could feel this feeling. You can feel anything. I do not have cancer. I do not have precancer and I've been having big [00:15:00] feelings and I believe that I am capable of feeling any feeling.
So I'm going to stop feel my feelings, allow myself to process these feelings and allow anything that is not serving me. To be released into the universe to serve its higher. Good. If I notice that I have picked up the phone and I am scrolling. I'm going to go ahead and stop and allow myself that space without beating myself up to figure out what's going on for me. Is this an executive functioning issue or is this an escape? And. Really loved myself through that experience.
Now, what I really want to do as I reduce this amount of escapism in my phone. I want to come in, check in with all of you. And let you know how things are going. I want to hold myself [00:16:00] accountable by putting it out there to the entire world. What is different?
What is changing in my life? What I'm noticing. And am I getting through all of the things that I genuinely would like to get through? I am so grateful that you guys all listened to all my personal stuff this week. And you're going along with this journey with me, so if you are noticing that you're having executive functioning challenges and you're noticing that you're using escapism. I would love to hear from you.
So comment, let me know, send me an email, go on my website, I absolutely want to be able to serve you guys and teach you what I am learning all at the same time. I love you guys. Thank you so much. Take care. Bye-bye.
