Self-Doubt
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[00:00:00] Welcome to the Neuro Tribe, the podcast where authenticity meets empowerment. Your host, Teresa, is a certified business executive and life coach, navigating the intricate tapestry of neurodiversity. She's someone blessed with ADHD and dyslexia, and gifted a widow and a mother. To four incredible Neurodiverse children.
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Join us on this unfiltered journey where no topic is too challenging, [00:01:00] no triumph too small. Let's unravel the layers of our community's experiences, embracing the struggles, celebrating the gifts, and finding empowerment and authenticity in every episode. And let's start right now.
Hey friends. Welcome back. How you doing? Today, I'm going to talk to you about self doubt. Now this one is a topic that runs deep in the neuro diverse community. I'm going to talk to you. Why? Because I feel like it genuinely helps because when we get stuck in self doubt, It feels so real and so hard to get out of. I think it might be empowering to really start to break it down and I'm just going to go overgeneralization.
If you want to work with your own self doubt, then feel free. [00:02:00] Just find me on theresaminnoch.com and set an appointment. Join when a grab one of the mini courses or join the community, it's up to you. Or you can find me on social media. Let's get into it. Okay. So as neurodivergent individuals, we really did grow up in a neuro-typical standard, a neuro-typical community.
And I'm not saying that neurodivergent individuals are wrong or flawed in some way, and neurotypicals are like normal. What I am saying is the neuro-typical way or society way was not designed for us. And as we grew up, we really grew up instilled with the idea that there was something wrong with us. Because we genuinely were at a disadvantage. And society [00:03:00] rules and norms have not caught up with us. Even if you talk to people about D and I it's incredibly rare. That neurodiversity is even in the subject matter. So that lets you know how behind society is as far as it coming to neurodivergent individuals and the neuro-diverse community.
So we really genuinely did grow up with this feeling or this. Society opinion that we were doing wrong, that we couldn't fit in, that our ways or the way our brains are wired are not fitting in. Which of course. I would bring some self doubt.
We had some times if we were not diagnosed and we were a late diagnosis, there's this. [00:04:00] Real, like not understanding why we were the way we were. And then sometimes we were diagnosed and we still didn't quite understand the way that we were. Maybe we weren't educated as to what our neuro-diversity was and what it meant and what our strengths were and what our challenges were and how we can support ourselves. It really depends on you and yourself.
And when you got diagnosed and how much you know about it, how much you've researched about it.
This is another thing that's really important. Is inside. We know who we are. We know how hard we try and we genuinely have to try, depending on your neurodiversity, depending on what your diagnosis is, we genuinely have to try harder than say a neuro-typical person. Or neuro-typical [00:05:00] people, right?
So whether it's reading and we have to, it's really challenging for us to read, or maybe you have. Dyspraxia where it's you have the words in your mind, but it's really hard to get them out of your mouth. Maybe it's dysgraphia where you have. This beautiful. Idea, these beautiful ideas in your mind, but it's really hard for you to get it out on paper or maybe socially, you really struggled, right? And so we know who we are inside.
We know what our thoughts are. We know how hard we try yet. Because we are living in a society that was not built for us. We're constantly told what we're not. We're constantly told what we're doing wrong. And quite often we are told things like we're lazy or we're not smart or. We're illiterate or [00:06:00] stupid or weird or awkward, right?
There's something wrong with you. What's wrong with you there. And I'm what I'm saying might be triggering. And for that, I do apologize, but I am also saying it because if you're a neuro-typical person or come from a neuro-typical family and you are trying to learn about neurodivergent individuals, this is something you need to know. And if you are, neurodivergent this self doubt that you carry within yourself comes from this disadvantage that we had our entire lives of being told what we are not. Rather than what we are, which does, and we'll create self-doubt. There also might be this. Self-doubt coming from the fact that we really didn't understand the society rules. Say for instance, you are in a class and you realize that something is [00:07:00] happening and people are uncomfortable around you. And you're not quite sure why. Or you're in a social situation and people are talking to you. And everybody's laughing, but you're not quite sure what they're laughing at, or maybe you never really understood why your friends are always blaming you for things and making you be the scapegoat. There are so many different things that happen in society.
And for some of us neurodivergent individuals, we're just not really quite sure what the rules are, which would create self doubt. Okay. There are also a lot of you out there, whether you're late diagnosed or early diagnosis self-sabotage is a thing. And what happens when you are consistently self sabotaging, you are losing yourself, trust what, which further puts you into self doubt.
So then when you come across something that you [00:08:00] need to trust yourself to do, you don't have that trust inside. And because you don't have that trust inside your mind will go in a tailspin of self doubt.
Going along with the society thing. We can know, say our own selves and we are engaging in society. Say you're with some friends or you're with some classmates or you're with some people at work. And those people are being mean to each other. And somehow that's acceptable.
That's okay.
That might be even cool as far as they're concerned, but then you tell the truth about something. Which we do. And that's not acceptable. That would automatically create some self doubt, because I don't understand why is telling the truth, not acceptable, but being mean to each other is acceptable. Making fun of [00:09:00] each other is acceptable.
Talking badly about other people is acceptable, but telling the truth about things is not acceptable. That's very confusing. I'm just saying.
There's also this justice. There are a lot of us neuro divergent individuals where we had a lot of injustice happen in our lifetime. And so we have this very deep seated, deep rooted belief that things need to be fair, right? That is not right. That is not. That's not nice to do, or it's not okay to lie, or why in the world would you treat someone that drove that way? And yet. We come across people that's like white lies are totally okay. And that makes absolutely no sense to us. So we would doubt ourselves why in the world?
Is it okay to tell a little white lies and yet. [00:10:00] What I am saying that is the truth is not acceptable. Again, we're coming across a disadvantage and I'm not even sure. I genuinely do not understand why society thinks that this is stuff is okay. And yet. Neurodivergent individuals might be weird or awkward for wanting things to be true or wanting things to be right.
Wanting the values and morals to be upheld.
Some of us have a hard time expressing our thoughts. So it's we're thinking in our head and we're wanting to express, we're wanting to get the words out. And our mind is in a tailspin of all of the things that could go wrong. This deep self doubt. And because we're in this tailspin of what might go wrong.
We can't quite get our words out. [00:11:00] And that creates more self doubt because it's hard to say what we're thinking. Maybe for some of you, you are having self doubt because you're actually doubting the way you, that you're feeling. It's like you're having this feeling. But you're not sure why you're having the feeling. So you doubt yourself for having the feeling. But, the feeling is there.
So then you're just super uncomfortable. And you're having a hard time expressing your thoughts and your feelings. So you just keep it inside. But what this is doing is also instilling a deeper root of self doubt.
A lot of self doubt can be anxiety driven, ruminating thoughts.
It can make it harder for us to do basic things like talking or completing a project or [00:12:00] communicating
calling and talking to your child's teacher, there are so many different ways that self-doubt can play in our lives. That make it harder to do right. So these are some things that I think. That self doubt stems from, of course, there's more, if you want to talk to me about what you're going through, as far as your self doubt, feel free to reach out to me.
Now, I'm going to talk to you about some ways that you can help yourself, right? I have talked about the bots. We have belief systems that we have running on going on in our mind all the time. We don't even realize that they're there. We have opinions maybe about ourself or maybe about someone else.
We have thoughts that are running through our mind that are subconscious or conscious. And we have stories that we have built about ourselves, about our environment, about the people around us, about people we engage with [00:13:00] and with these. If we're questioning ourselves consistently. It's being aware. Of our thoughts is so important. And it gives us the tools to be able to choose with intention.
It's like we can have those thoughts there. And the self-doubt is going to be there because we've, it's ingrained. It's been there for so long, but if we are aware that it's there and what the source or the reason is we can start to deconstruct it. And if we're aware of our bots, Beliefs opinions, thoughts and stories. Again, we can have this tool to not judge ourselves. Not go in the tailspin of self-doubt, but moreover be aware and so we can choose again.
Another. Way to help our self-doubt is working and doing exercises to [00:14:00] gain trust in ourself. Believe in our capability. Lean into our strengths and most importantly, really embrace our neuro-diversity. Really be able to advocate for ourselves and what we're needing. And this isn't meaning stand up to the man, stand up for ourselves.
It's more like, With love and respect and boundaries. Advocating for our needs. And this can start the process. Of reducing your self doubt. Okay. I love you all. Take care. Bye bye.
