Blue Hair, the beliefs that may not be true

February 28, 2024

Episode 7 of The NeuroTribe, titled "Deconstructing Beliefs," dives deep into the concept of how we adopt and internalize beliefs about ourselves that may not accurately reflect reality or serve us well. Drawing from a powerful narrative about a child who is persistently told they have blue hair, despite seeing brown hair in the mirror, the episode highlights how we can adopt beliefs about ourselves that don't align with our true essence, simply because they've been reinforced over time. The story is then cleverly tied to the Neurodiverse community, showing how societal narratives and assumptions about neurodivergent individuals can lead to the internalization of false or unhelpful beliefs. This, in turn, leads to a compelling call to action to challenge, question, and deconstruct these beliefs to align with our true selves.

Episode Transcript

📍 📍 Hey friends. Welcome back. Welcome to episode number seven. I want to give a shout out to all of you in Spain. I am so excited and grateful to see how this neuro tribe is expanding to other countries. I hope that you will like download, subscribe and share. Tell your friends all about it so we can grow our community even more. The other thing is I want to thank all of you who are finding me the neuro-diverse life coach on YouTube and putting your songs in the comments. And finding me on Facebook, the neuro-diverse life coach and sharing your songs with me.

I absolutely love music and I love that we can have. This universal language. It doesn't matter what language you are. Music is music and it's beautiful. It's mathematics and so lovely. Today, I am going to talk to you about something. That's I find really interesting because. I remember talking to a friend when I was in my twenties and trying to explain to her this concept.

And as I've thought about it through the years, and I'm not in my twenties anymore. As I thought about it through the years, I still really like the story or the analogy that I came up with back in my twenties. So what I want to say. Is imagine that you are a kid. And. You're told every single day that you have blue hair. And you think to yourself, I don't have blue hair. Why do people keep saying I have blue hair. And you look in the mirror and you don't see blue hair, but yet everybody keeps telling you that you have blue hair.

So you go throughout your life year after year, and people are telling you. Over and over again. You have blue hair.

Sooner or later you start to question, do I have blue hair? Maybe I have blue hair. Maybe when I look in the mirror, I see something different because maybe I'm color blind or maybe I just don't see what other people see. Maybe there's a tint of blue in my hair.

You keep going year after year. And people keep telling you, you have blue hair. So then all of a sudden you start to believe. I have blue hair. And then that belief year after year solidifies. Until you just start explaining to people. That you have blue hair. And the next thing, you know, you're in your twenties or your thirties or your forties or whatever age you are. And you explain to somebody. Your belief that you have blue hair. And the person looks at you with a side tilt and says,

You don't have blue hair. Your hair's brown. And you think to yourself? No, it's blue. I, I have blue hair and you fully, truly believe that you have blue hair.

I think the thing that's so interesting is in the neuro diverse community. We. As a young young child inherently know who we are. We definitely have a sense of, of who we are inside and we know what our thoughts are and we know what our intentions are and we know what our feelings are. But what ends up happening in our community is that we are told who we are.

We are told what our intentions are. We are told what is wrong about us. Every single day. And so we start to adapt these beliefs. About ourselves. That may not be true. Think about the person with the blue hair. They didn't actually have blue hair. But they were told that they had blue hair. And so they then started to believe that they had blue hair. So. Some of you might have. These beliefs that you were walking around with every single day. That aren't really helping you anymore. And part of our work is really deconstructing these beliefs. That we have about ourselves that may not be serving us. They may or may not be true. They're just thoughts that we have thought over and over and over again, because we were told something about ourselves.

Interesting right. So let's talk about these beliefs. Maybe some of these beliefs are. I'm weird.

And you just say it, like it's a fact. It just is. I'm weird. I've always been weird. Everybody's always told me I'm weird. So I'm weird. Do you notice that. Everyone's always told me I'm weird. So I weird. It's not that you are weird it's that you were told you were weird. So then after time you started thinking you were weird. Those thoughts turned into a belief, and now you genuinely believe that you are weird.

Other ones might be. I'm crazy. I've always been told when I was growing up, that my rocking back and forth was crazy. And therefore I am crazy. Or I've always been told that twirling something is crazy. So I must be crazy.

Maybe your belief is that you are a rebel. You were always told that you were doing something wrong, no matter what you did, even when you were trying to do the right thing, you were definitely wrong. So then you adapted this belief that no matter what you do, you're wrong. So you must be some sort of rebel.

You must be some sort of hooligan, right? Maybe your belief is that you are too sensitive. Oh my gosh, this one drives me crazy. I feel like that's a hot point for me. Cause all growing up, everybody used to say to me that I was too sensitive. I have all four types of empathy. Of course, I'm sensitive.

Now. What does two sensitive mean? Does that mean that I feel more than other people. Hmm. Yeah, it does.

Maybe you have this belief that you are able to love other people, like you can genuinely love other people.

But there's something about you that you can't be loved?

Maybe you feel or believe that there is something fundamentally wrong with you? Maybe. That you believe that no matter what you do, no matter how hard you try. No matter how you succeed, no matter how much money you make, no matter how many friends you have. Something's wrong with you.

Maybe you believe that you don't fit in anywhere, doesn't matter where you don't fit in. Maybe you believe the only way to fit in is to have a couple of drinks.

Maybe you believe that you will never be successful. Maybe you believe that you will be , successful, you are successful. But it comes out of price. Of not having any personal life.

Or happiness.

Maybe you believe that you will never have a work-life balance.

Maybe you believe. That your health problems that started when you were a kid or when you started, when you were a teenager? A lot of us had starts in puberty. We. Go. Through life working harder than everyone else. And then we end up getting sick. So rather than understanding are. Bodies needs and the way our brain works within our body. And we get to burnout over and over and over again, we adopt the belief that we have health problems when really. If we just address. The burnout or avoid the burnout. Health problems go away. It's magic.

Maybe we believe that we are an overthinker. I'm not going to tell you guys, you don't think a lot. But maybe you have this thought that you are an over thinker.

Maybe you believe that you can't do things.

Maybe you have this belief that you are disabled.

Not talking about. Being in a wheelchair. I am talking about being able to do things. That you haven't even tried. In years. Because you've told yourself that you cannot do it.

So again, If we can go over. This process of, we are told. Something about ourselves. You have blue hair. Then we start to think. Do I have blue hair? Maybe I have blue hair. Maybe I'm crazy. Am I crazy? People keep telling me I have blue hair. But I don't think I have blue hair. But I keep getting told I have blue hair.

So then it turns into a belief. I must have blue hair.

And what I want to do. Is have you guys reach out to me? Put yourselves on my schedule. Send me an email. Reach out to me online. Find me on Facebook. Find me on Instagram. Find me on LinkedIn. I want to help you deconstruct your beliefs about yourself. That may not be serving you and they may not even be true. Because those beliefs were told to us and we thought so many times that we ended up believing it.

What I want you to do today? Is asking herself. Those beliefs that you have about yourselves? Are they actually true? Is it true? Do you really have blue hair? Is it true that you cannot be loved? Is it true that something's wrong with you? Is it true? That you're crazy. Is it true that you're lazy? Is it true that you're stupid. Is it true? That you have to work harder than everybody else. Is it true that you will never be successful? Is it true that you are weird? Is it true that you are a rebel? Is it true that you can never be loved?

I am telling you friends. None of those thoughts, none of those beliefs are helping you. But I can help you debunk them. So we can thrive together.

Thank you so much for joining the neuro tribe. I love you all take care. Bye-bye.

Blue Hair, the beliefs that may not be true

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