Hey friends. Welcome back to episode number two. We are in the middle of winter here. And believe it or not, it is like 11 degrees outside. Super cold. Which is funny because in a few episodes, you're going to hear me talk about it being a mild winter, but guess what? I am prerecording all of these. And right after I spoke, it got cold. So kind of. Funny information for all of you to have, just to let you guys all know. I love music.
I love, love, love music. So if you want to do me this beautiful favor. Of like subscribing and downloading my episodes and then share it on your social media and tag me. With your favorite song. I want to hear from all of you, what your type of music is. Now in this episode, we're going to talk about emotional regulation.
It is so it's, so all the time people will come to me. And ask me to help them with emotional regulation. And honestly, it doesn't matter what the subject is. Right. It could be talking about business. It could be speaking about contractors and employees. It could be talking about another, you know, employee to employee relationship.
It could be talking about spouse. It could be talking about relationship with children. I get asked so often to have assistance and help and tools with emotional regulation. So I'm going to give you, I have a multi-step process that I work with my clients and it's in my membership. It's in my business course. And then I work on it with my one-on-one clients.
So I'm going to take you through the first step of my multi-step process. And. We really talk about how to process a feeling all the way through, from start to finish. If you think about our emotions. We are taught so young that our emotions are too big for us. Right. By being sent to our room or put in time out when we're feeling a big emotion. What that does as adults is we will want to avoid our emotion. Emotions by you know, maybe watching Netflix, , or reading a book, or we will have our emotions come in, outbursts, you know, as yelling or maybe throwing something. Or we go very inward with our emotions and we will feel our emotions deeply inside. But never expressed them outwardly. Right. Either way. We have emotions all day long, every single day.
And we make decisions from those emotions. We take action from our emotions. So it is very important for us to learn, to process through an emotion from start to finish. No. Where do our emotions come from? I'm going to tell you. Our emotions start with our thoughts. Something will happen. We will have thoughts about the thing that happened. And then with those thoughts, they create our emotions. If you want, we can go into this later on, but for today's episode, I'm just going to talk about the emotions part. Once you have those thoughts, it creates a vibration that goes into your body and creates an emotion. There are books written about emotions.
There are talks about emotion. So many things that talk about how emotions can get trapped in your body. There's yoga. There's so matic healing. There's breath work. There's GYROTINIC. You name it. Emotions will get stuck in your body. If you don't learn how to process and release. So I'm going to take you through the whole. Process. I call it the BOAR feelings. First and foremost, we want to be aware, be aware that we are feeling something. Rather than ignoring it or avoiding it or getting yourself busy.
So you don't feel it. Just stop for a moment and be aware that you are feeling something. The next is O open up, really open up in your body and find out where that feeling is in your body. Just breathe and being nonjudgmental. Working with clients. What I really come to notice is that there's this judgment about the way that they're feeling and that judgment will create more and more feelings compiling on top of the original feeling. Right.
So it's almost like you're putting a cup that's full of water on top of another cup, this full of water. On top of another cup, this well water on top of another cup. That's full of water. Sooner or later those cups are gonna fall in the glass is going to break. So. Be aware, open up. And when you open up, just give yourself that space. The next is ask. I ask, where is this feeling in my body? What does it look like? What does it feel like try and put as many descriptives as you can. On the feeling. For me right now, I actually, I actually feel hungry because I haven't eaten yet and I forgot to eat lunch. So that is a physical sensation, not a feeling, but if I am to tap into the way I feel. Besides being hungry. I also feel.
Very. Inspired. Ooh, that's a good one. Y'all. So in my body inspired feels very light. It feels like it has a very high vibration. It kind of has like a pinkish. Yellowish tint to it. It's very swirly. And it almost feels. Like it's connected to excited. So I, again, when you were feeling your feelings and you are asking a ask. To describe the emotion that you're feeling. Try and come up with as many descriptives.
Is it heavy? Is it soft? Is it. Fast. Is it slow? Does it have a tempo? Does it feel rounded? Does it feel bouncy? Does it feel. Bumpy or spiky, right? Ask. Ask what it feels like in your body. The last one is R release. This, I think. Really hit me when I read the book. The body keeps the score.
Asking, what part of this emotion can you release?
I think is really important. 'cause it's like you're opening up this valve and your body and you're allowing the vibrations. To leave an exit your body.
So again, the BOAR feelings, are B. Be aware. o, open up. A ask and R release. Release is, is there any part of this vibration? That's no longer serving me. Can it release and go out of my body to serve its higher. Good.
That part.
Is so powerful. Because there are times where you can literally feel. This thing, this energy. Leaving and lifting off of your body and in my. In my mind, what I imagine it is it leaving my body and going out into the universe and turning into light and sprinkling about. Right. The other thing that I want to talk about emotional regulation is all emotions are normal. They're all part of the human experience and it is okay to be angry.
It is okay to have joy. It is okay to feel at peace. It is okay to feel frustrated or annoyed. Is it, it is okay to feel shame. It's okay. To feel guilt, grief, whatever you need to feel. All of them are okay if you give them that space. We are not supposed to be happy all the time. Joy happy, happy, happy. Everything's supposed to be perfect all the time. That is. Not real. So it is okay to be human and feel all of the things that you need to feel. Be aware, open up. Ask where it is, what its name is, what it's doing. And then lastly release. Thank you all for joining this episode, episode number two. Next episode, we are going to break down the BOAR feelings a little bit more. And I'm going to give them to you in bite size pieces. What I found in the neuro diverse community.
And especially, it seems to me people that are on the autism spectrum or people that have had PTSD or see CPTSD. Sometimes it can be hard to name what feeling you are feeling. Or it is hard to understand where in your body you're feeling it. So next episode, we're going to break it up a little bit more and put it into bite size pieces. I hope you all enjoy this episode. Please feel free to subscribe, download, share, and don't forget to tag me and let me know what your favorite song is, or give me a YouTube or Spotify of your favorite music. You all, I love you so much.
See you soon. Bye-bye.
